


Maybe It's Fate

by Soulbutnotasoldier



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bullying, Denial, F/M, Happy Ending, M/M, Rape, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-10
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-08 05:16:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 32,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1928028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soulbutnotasoldier/pseuds/Soulbutnotasoldier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey guys! So I just wanted to settle some things. For one, I want to warn that there is a rape scene in this story. It comes later, and there will be a warning. You can skip over it and be fine. I just want to warn you in the beginning. Also, I noted that there is graphic violence, I don't believe it is too graphic, but there are moments when violence is dipicted. Reading those parts will be up to you. No warnings for them before they come, but you should be able to tell. Also this is not fully beta-read so sorry for my mistakes! I do hope you enjoy the story!</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. First Day of School

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So I just wanted to settle some things. For one, I want to warn that there is a rape scene in this story. It comes later, and there will be a warning. You can skip over it and be fine. I just want to warn you in the beginning. Also, I noted that there is graphic violence, I don't believe it is too graphic, but there are moments when violence is dipicted. Reading those parts will be up to you. No warnings for them before they come, but you should be able to tell. Also this is not fully beta-read so sorry for my mistakes! I do hope you enjoy the story!

It was a hot and humid morning. The birds could be heard chirping in the distance. A ray of light seeped into the room, landing on the unmoving form of Dean Winchester.

It was Monday morning, the first day of school Monday morning. The alarm went off with a shrill, insistent cry. Grumbling, Dean lifted his hand and slammed it on his alarm to stop it from going off once more. Deciding five more minutes of sleep wouldn’t kill him he got comfortable once more and slipped quickly into a doze. 

“Dean! Hurry up! We need to get to school!” 

Dean jolted up and fell off his bed when his brother’s yelling broke through his slumber. Looking frantically up to his clock he could see it was 7:30.

“Son of a bitch!”

Dean had overslept. He hurriedly got up, put on a pair of jeans near his bed and grabbed a black t-shirt from his closet. He shrugged on his leather jacket that hung on the back of his door before runing out of his room and bolting down the stairs. In the kitchen he was greeted with an unhappy expression from his mother and a slightly angry expression from his father.

“Son, you need to wake up earlier. You can’t be late. It’s the first day of school Dean.”

Dean grudgingly nodded an agreement to his father's demand. He went up to his mother to give her a kiss goodbye before leaving. She softened up a bit and as she hugged him said, “Have a nice day. Love you Dean.”

Dean smiled adoringly at his mother before rushing out the door. Dean’s only joy for the day was that he could finally show off the beauty he was driving, his 67’ Chevy Impala. His father had sold it to him over the summer and Dean had been dying to show it off. His brother Sammy was waiting next to the car slightly impatient.

“Dean, hurry up or we’re going to be late.”

“Sorry Sammy, don’t worry we’ll make it.”

Dean adored his little brother Sammy. The kid was smart as hell and a good kid. Sam would be starting his sophomore year and he knew the kid was excited. Over the summer Sammy had gone through a growth spurt and was nearly as tall as Dean. His voice had also deepened. Dean was sure he was ready to get himself a girl this year.

As Dean peeled out of the driveway and raced down the street to the local high school all he could think about was that it was finally his Senior Year.

***

Castiel Novak woke up at the crack of dawn. He had to work a few hours at the diner before heading off to school. As Castiel rolled over in his bed and stared up at the ceiling all he could think about was his first day at this new school. Only moving here at the beginning of summer, Castiel knew no one and he knew he would be left wandering the school on his own.

The thought of even attending school sent shivers up Castiel's spine. He had been forced to leave his previous school for problems that were not his fault and came here to live on his own, away from his past. The idea of starting fresh was somewhat of a relief, but the idea that someone was to figure out where he came from and why he was here scared him.

As much as Castiel would have wanted to think more about his current situation, he had no time. In the next ten minutes Castiel got up, got dressed in his diner uniform, packed his bag with the clothes for school, and headed out, walking to his workplace. 

***

Dean was sitting on a blue, plastic chair in the attendance office waiting for his pass to class. He had rode into school five minutes after the final bell and had been made to wait for the attendance receptionist. Dean waited lazily, making strange noises to pass the time, until the receptionist arrived, Mrs. Harvelle.

“Well what do we have here? A Winchester, late on the first day of school? Your mom and old man ain’t gonna be happy about this,” a voice behind Dean said. 

Mrs. Harvelle had walked in and was looking Dean up and down. She was considering whether she should scold him further and slap him against the head, or soften up and grab him into a hug.

Dean and Mrs. Harvelle were close. She was a good friend of his uncle Bobby and was the nicest women he had ever known, next to his mom. She looked out for him and always tried to keep him on track. Next to Sam and his mom, Mrs. Harvelle was the only person Dean trusted completely with everything.

With a mega-watt smile in response, Dean got up and gathered up Mrs. Harvelle in a bear hug.

“It’s good to see you too Mrs. Harvelle.”

Mrs. Harvelle tried to stifle a laugh from escaping her lips, but it was near impossible. Dean always brought her laughter, even if he did some stupid things. Finally calmed, Dean set her down and walked with her to the front desk.

As she walked over to the other side to settle herself in for work, she spoke to Dean with concern and a hint of anger.

“Dean you know it’s great to see you, but Christ’s sake, it’s the first day of school. You can’t be slacking off.”

Dean stopped with all the charm he was putting up and turned serious. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew she was right. He nodded in response.

With a soft smile settling in, Mrs. Harvelle spoke with kindness, “You’re lucky I like you Winchester. Tell you what, I’ll let you go this time if you help me out and give Jo a ride to school tomorrow.”

Dean lit up with a genuine smile. Relief sweeping in, Dean responded, “Of course, Mrs. Harvelle. Thanks.”

Mrs. Harvelle smiled up at him. She had faith in the boy and knew good things would come from him. She began to write out Dean’s excuse when a jumble of clothes and paper stumbled into the room.

***

Castiel had been cleaning the dishes for the diner and had not been paying attention to the time. When he had finally finished up, Castiel had looked up at the clock.

7:50 AM

Eyes wide in realization, Castiel jumped into action. He grabbed his belongings from the kitchen floor and ran into the bathroom to change into his school clothes. He discarded his food stained tee and jeans for a white button up, blue vest, black dress pants, and a beige trench coat. There was no time to check the mirror, Castiel ran out of the diner through the back and headed off to school.

The high school was located ten blocks away from the diner which forced Castiel to run all the way there. When he arrived, he was out of breath and as sweaty as a pig. Not thinking he ran into the office and fell face first onto the tile floor.

It took Castiel a few seconds to recover. Realizing he was wasting away precious minutes, Castiel began to frantically pick up the papers that had fallen. He hadn’t realized that another person had begun to help him pick up his things. It wasn’t until he reached for the last piece of paper that he came face to face with a man with stunning green eyes.

The man cleared his throat a bit before speaking, “Slow down there buddy. Don’t worry. Here’s all your stuff.”

The stranger handed him back his papers and got up. He offered his hand and helped Castiel up. Taking him into full view, Castiel saw the green eyed man was dressed in jeans, a black tee, a dark brown leather jacket, and work boots. The slightly messy golden brown hair added to his overall attractiveness and Castiel couldn’t help the fast beating of his heart.

“I’m Dean Winchester,” he said. The young man, Dean, put his hand out for a handshake.

Castiel, finally regaining the use of his mouth and body, extended his own hand and shook Dean’s.

“I’m Castiel,” he said, trying to swallow the dryness of his throat.

Dean gave a warm smile. Castiel, feeling himself become less nervous, smiled back. After a few seconds with both boys staring at each other, a woman cleared her throat. Castiel turned his attention to her and saw that she was the receptionist he had spoken to earlier in the week to set up his classes.

“Castiel you’re here. It’s good to see you. I have your schedule ready,” Mrs. Harvelle said while opening a drawer.

Castiel walked over to the receptionist. She took out a paper from the drawer and handed it over to him.

“This is your schedule sweetheart. Now you’re late, but being your first day at this new school it’ll pass. Lucky for you, you have Dean here to help you to your first period class.”

Dean turned to the receptionist and gave her a quick smile and a small wave before he turned back to Castiel and nodded.

“Mrs. Harvelle is right. You’re lucky you have me, the school’s already confusing enough. Come on, let’s head out. We don’t wanna be any later than we already are.”

Dean began to walk out into the hall. Castiel scurried to catch up, still struggling with the amount of items in his hand, but at that moment, that didn’t matter to Castiel, only the stranger with the green eyes named Dean Winchester mattered.

***

Only seconds from leaving the reception room, Dean led Castiel to the library.

"Is it alright if we hang out in the library a bit before heading to find your classes?" Dean asked.

He was exhausted and wanted to take a quick rest before heading off to his own class. Talking with the new kid would be a win for him too. Dean wasn't sure what it was, but there was something about Castiel that Dean was drawn to. It scared him a bit though because he had just met the guy and knew nothing about him.

Castiel had hesitated a moment before responding to Dean's question with a small stutter, "Uh, sure, that's fine."

Both boys arrived at the library and took a seat near the back of the room. No one was in the library, leaving the two to themselves. It was silent for a bit until Dean took incentive and began asking questions.

"So, what brings you to this shit hole of a school?"

Dean noticed that Castiel grew a bit fidgety by the question he had asked. Wanting to ease the worry Castiel was showing, Dean asked a different question.

"How about you just tell me about yourself? Anything. Tell me whatever you want."

To reassure Castiel, Dean gave a friendly smile. He leaned forward in his seat and looked up at Castiel expectantly. He was honestly interested in what Castiel, the captivating boy with blue eyes, would say.

***

Castiel felt small in his seat. He had been lead to the library by Dean and was now being waited for an answer to a question.

Dean had started out by asking Castiel about his move to this school, but had changed the question. Castiel was sure that Dean had noticed a change in his behavior and was slightly nervous at being read so easily. Castiel wasn't ready to answer questions for why he had moved here. He wasn't ready to allow anyone in. He couldn't stand that, not yet at least.  
Since entering the library Castiel had been nervous. From the start he knew he was growing an attraction to Dean, not that he could be blamed. The teen with green eyes was greatly handsome and genuinely nice.

Dean had just asked Castiel to talk about himself and Castiel was unsure of where to start. He didn't want to say anything that could ruin this potential friendship that was growing between him and Dean. At least he hoped this was a friendship that would prosper.

After waiting a few more moments, Castiel took a deep breath and answered Dean with a quiet voice. 

"I...I like to draw. I hope to become a doctor in the future. School is a huge priority in my life. I kinda have my life revolving around school and drawing, my two passions."

There was a moment of silence. Castiel grew worried. Dean didn't look like the type of person who had an interest in either art or school. What if Dean was thinking up a way to tell Castiel sorry, but he was not up for a friend like him?

Finally, Dean responded.

"That's awesome. I know what it means to have passions. I'm not gonna lie, art and school aren't my thing, but hey, if you like it, awesome. My brother is a lover for school. He actually wants to be a lawyer. I'm more of a mechanic guy. Leaving town is my dream after high school."  
Dean gave Castiel a warm smile which brought peace to Castiel and had him smiling too.

The two boys talked some more. They talked about school, hobbies, and different passions they had. When the bell rang for the end of first period the two boys got up and headed out into the hallway.

***

As they got into the hall, Dean realized he hadn't helped Castiel find where his classes were. Seeing the schedule in his hands, Dean took a hold of the piece of paper and scanned the classes. He couldn't help but be impressed by the classes. Castiel had 4 AP classes and 2 art classes.  
When the halls began to clear Dean started to lead Castiel to his 2nd period class.

"You're pretty smart Cas, 4 AP's."

Castiel began to turn a bright pink from embarrassment.

Nodding slightly, Castiel said, "Um, yea. I guess I'm smart."

Dean smiled. He realized he had called Castiel Cas. He hadn't meant to give him a nickname, but Cas sounded good and rolled of his tongue easily.

When the halls cleared a bit, Dean headed to the 3rd building of the school. Cas had AP Physics next. As they approached the building Dean stole a glance at Cas. He hadn't noticed it before, but Dean saw the guy looked disheveled.

"Cas I don't mean to sound like a dick, but you look like crap."

Castiel took a glance at himself before turning red once more, "I was in a rush, didn't have time to fix myself up." Castiel replied sheepishly.

Dean chuckled. "It’s good you have me here to help you out."

Taking a hold of Castiel's things, Dean set them on the ground and paid attention to Cas.

Castiel had black dress pants, a white button up half way tucked in, a blue vest, backwards blue tie, wrinkled beige trench coat and black converse. His hair was sticking up in different directions. Taking a couple of seconds to think of what to do, Dean finally began fixing Cas up.  
He told Cas to tuck in his shirt. Then he began to fix Castiel's vest. He patted Cas's chest down until the vest looked less wrinkled. He shook out the trench coat a bit to loosen the wrinkles as well. Dean then began to pat down Cas' hair and ran his fingers through it a few times, styling it messily. When it came to Cas' tie, Dean had to pull Castiel closer to him to fix it. He undid the tie and redid correctly. Castiel was only centimeters away from Dean.

Realizing the close proximity to each other both started into each other's eyes. Dean wouldn't admit it, but deep in his gut he wished he could pull Cas into a kiss. After what felt like years, Castiel stepped back and leaned down to pick up his belongs.

Castiel cleared his throat as he got back up. "Uh thanks Dean. For everything."

Dean smiled brightly. "No problem Cas."

Just as Cas was about to enter his physics room Dean put a hand on his shoulder. Castiel turned towards Dean.

"Wait for me here. We can spend our snack period together. If you want to, that is,” Dean says. Castiel's eyes lit up. 

"Yea Dean, I'd like that,” Cas said when his eye flicked down to Dean’s hand on his shoulder. Dean gave a small nod as he felt his face heat up. He quickly took his hand off of Castiel’s shoulder before giving him a small wave along with a nervous smile. 

Castiel returned the smile softly and then turned back to the door. Finally, Castiel entered the class leaving Dean outside with a giddy feeling in his chest. His face heated up as he turned away from the classroom door to the nearly empty hallway. He readjusted his backpack on his shoulder before heading down the hall to his own class.


	2. Let Bad Luck Take a Swing

The next hour felt like an eternity to Dean. He couldn't keep his mind of the boy with raven black hair, chapped lips, and those blue eyes.

Dean wanted to get to know who this new kid was. He wanted to be his friend, help him out. He wanted to know his secrets. The more Dean started thinking about him, the more his thoughts drifted to Cas and his lips.

Those god damn lips.

That thought stopped Dean in his tracks. Why was he thinking about Cas in this way? This wasn't right, or was it? Dean wasn't the type to think this way about guys, yet here he was, doing just that. What was wrong with him? It wasn't like Cas was that type of guy. However, Dean wasn't gonna let that bother him, or was he?

The conflicting thoughts left Dean in a mess. As snack approached, Dean knew he couldn't meet up with Cas. Instead he chose to just head out to meet with his friends.

***

Castiel was waiting outside his physics class when snack started.

All through his physics class, all Cas could think about was Dean. His touch was imprinted in Cas' mind. All that muscle, that smile, those lips, and those stunning green eyes.

When Cas entered the class he was introduced quickly to his classmates and then given the option to sit where he please. Not ready to talk with anyone just yet, Castiel decided to sit at the back of the room in the corner.

Walking out of the room at the end of the period, Cas groaned when he realized he hadn't caught any of the notes from class. He would now have to figure out a way to get the notes from someone. At that moment it didn't bother him too much. He would be seeing Dean soon and that was all he really cared about.

It was halfway through snack and Castiel was still waiting in front of his class. He began to grow worried. Had he scared off Dean? Had he said something wrong? Or was Dean not interested in being his friend and this was his way in showing him that.

Castiel should have known to not have grown so optimistic about Dean. Dean was the type of guy who was the popular kid, the lady's man, the tough guy. He wasn't the nice guy, the nerdy guy, and definitely not the gay guy.

Waiting a few minutes more, Cas decided to leave and head in search for his next class. He was closing in on the English building when Castiel heard his name being called out.

"Castiel! Hey Castiel wait up!"

Castiel turned around to face a young boy with blonde hair and from his voice he had heard a British accent.

"Hey, I'm Balthazar! You're new here, right? I have you for physics and just thought I should say hi."

Castiel smiled up at the stranger, Balthazar. He was happy to see that someone had noticed him.

"Yea I am and thanks." Cas said happily.

Taking a chance, Castiel decided to ask for the notes.

"Um Balthazar do you think I could borrow your notes? I kind of wasn't paying attention in class. New school, it's kinda distracting."

Balthazar nodded enthusiastically.

"Yea, sure thing Cassie, hope you don't mind me calling you that. By the way, can I see you're schedule, I could help you around."

Castiel cringed slightly at the nickname given to him, but let it go. Balthazar took out his notes and handed them over to Cas. Castiel at the same time gave over his schedule.

Balthazar took a quick look at his schedule and yelped in joy.

"We have four classes together!"

Cas laughed lightly at Balthazar's excitement.

"Let me show you to my friends before we head off to AP Language."

Taking a hold of Cas' arm, Balthazar led him to the school garden. Castiel was a little scared to meet new people, but followed along anyways.

The rest of snack passed on smoothly with Castiel's mind everywhere else, but on Dean.

***

Lunch came quicker than Dean had thought. During snack he had stayed with Jo, Ash, Adam, and Benny. All through it, Dean only felt guilt. He regretted leaving Cas on his own, but these feelings in the pit of his stomach worried him.

His friends, especially Jo, had noticed the uneasy behavior Dean was showing. When snack was over, Jo approached Dean, ready to ask questions.

"Hey Dean-o what's up with you?"

Dean turned to face Jo and tried to force out a smile.

"It's nothing Jo, just been thinking a lot lately, no big deal."

Jo didn't believe a word Dean said but let it go. Instead she lopped her arm through Dean's and headed to class. He smiled at Jo's behavior. She was like a sister to him and was happy to have her around.

As the two walked off to class, Dean noticed the raven black hair and blue vest down the hall. Dean's heart clenched and he could feel a blush running up to his cheeks. He was ready to call out to Cas when he noticed another boy next to him. He recognized the kid from seeing him around the school.

Castiel and the boy were laughing and joking together. Dean could feel his fists clench and his demeanor change. He was angry. No, Dean was jealous. He could feel it in his heart. Who the hell was this kid and why was Cas laughing like it was the time of his life?

Jo nudged Dean gently and drew him out of his personal thoughts.

"Everything alright Dean?" Jo asked with a hint of concern, but more so, curiosity.

Dean looked over at Jo and began to walk again.

"It's nothing Jo. Just thought I saw something."

They both finally headed to class and Dean was left with mixed emotions once more.

***

Castiel was sitting in his English class, listing to the teacher talk about Kate Chopin's "The Awakening."

It took Cas some strength to pay attention to the class. Before heading in, he had seen Dean looking at him and Balthazar from across the hall. He had seen rage and jealousy in those green eyes. However, Cas knew he had to be wrong, it wouldn't make sense. Yet, Castiel was sure that jealousy was directed to him and Balthazar.

With confusing thoughts in his mind, Castiel pushed himself to focus on class. He had another hour and a half before lunch came.

***

Balthazar and Castiel exited their fourth period AP Calculus class and headed off to their lockers.

Castiel had met Balthazar's friends at snack. It was only a small group. There had been Charlie, Anna, and Gabriel. The group had been nice and welcoming. Castiel had enjoyed talking to Charlie and Balthazar. The two off them had been great. Anna and Gabriel had kept to themselves.

Now, Balthazar and he were ready to go to the cafeteria. Castiel was waiting next to Balthazar's locker as he slipped in a few books. As he closed his locker door a snicker was heard from down the hall.

Both boys looked up to see a young man with black hair, and black skinny jeans with a red button up approach them.

"Damn it." Balthazar whispered under his breath.

Castiel glanced at his friend and saw the fear in his eyes. He gulped a bit with fear himself and waited for the stranger to finally stop in front of them.

"Well what do we have here. Balthy did you get yourself a boyfriend?"

Balthazar fisted his hands and went up to the stranger.

"Leave me alone Crowley! I don't need your crap today." Balthazar seethed with anger.

It didn't take long until the stranger, Crowley, took a huge swing at Balthazar. Balthazar fell to the floor with blood dripping from his noise. He struggled to get up, only to get swiftly kicked in the gut. Seeing this beating, Castiel couldn't just stand by. He pushed at Crowley, catching his attention.

"Leave him alone!" Castiel said with anger and a hint of fright.

Crowley turned to the Novak with anger.

"You dare tell me what to do? No one tells me what to do!"

He took Castiel by the collar and threw him against the lockers, the locks digging into Cas' back.

"No one tells me what to do." Crowley whispered into Cas' ear.

He then threw a punch directly to Cas' face and another to his stomach. Castiel tried to cover himself from harm with his hands, but it was no use.

After a few more blows Crowley threw him to the floor. He leaned down and whispered into Cas' ear, " You're my new punching bag."

Castiel whimpered on the floor for a few more seconds until blacking out.


	3. Gonna Rip Out Their Throats! (And Maybe My Own For Being a Dick!)

It was the end of lunch when the commotion was heard. Dean had spent lunch with his friends, talking and chatting away. He had tried to look for Cas in the mass of people, but gave up in the end when he couldn't find him.

During lunch Sam had come by to sit with Dean, as usual, but this time Sam had brought a friend along. Dean had looked up and was ready to say hey to his little brother when he saw him come over with a girl with blonde hair. Dean smiled in approval.

Sam smiled at his brother and the rest of the table before introducing the girl.

"Hey guys! This is Jessica. She moved here from California. She's a sophomore like me."

Everyone at the table said hi. Jo pulled Jessica to her side and talked with her a bit. While she was distracted Dean decided to get some information from Sam.

"So Sammy, new friend?" Dean asked with a knowing smile.

Sam turned a bright red before responding.

"Sammy is the name of a chubby 8 year-old and yes, she's a new friend."

Dean just nodded. He nudged him in the shoulder and gave a reassuring look to his brother. Sammy smiled back with relief and happiness.

Jo had finished up talking with Jessica, leaving Sam and Jessica to talk. Seeing his brother happy made Dean happy. It kept him in a good mood the rest of lunch.

It was 5 minutes before the end when things took a turn for the worst for Dean.

Everyone was talking and Dean was laughing at a joke Benny had made when kids began to whisper loudly. A few students ran off to the hallways while others looked at each with questioning expressions.

The table exchanged a few glances before deciding to go see what had happened.

"Let's go see what's going on." Benny said before walking off in the directions the other students walked off to.

They arrived to a spot where everyone was crowding around that was near the senior lockers. Dean pushed his way through the crowd to get a better view. He found Cas and his friend from earlier in the center of the circle of gawking students.

Realizing who it was that was hurt, Dean got through the rest of the crowd and gathered up Castiel in his arms. He yelled at Benny to come and help him with Balthazar. Once both boys had the injured boys in their arms, they pushed their way out of the crowd and walked to the nurse's office.

Dean kept looking down at Cas with concern. He had a bruised eye and cut above his eyebrow. There was dried blood near his mouth and eyebrow. Dean could hear Cas whimper slightly in his unconscious state. Dean could only imagine how the bruising was under Cas' layers.

Finally arriving at the nurse's station, Dean and Benny were told to set Castiel and Balthazar on the two beds and then escorted out. Dean wasn't too happy about it, but didn't argue. Instead he headed off to the reception office to talk to Mrs. Harvelle.

***

"Dean don't worry, let the school sort it out. I'm sure they'll find who is responsible for this."

For the past few minutes, Dean had explained to Mrs. Harvelle what had occurred with Castiel. He needed someone to talk to, and Mrs. Harvelle was the person to go to.

He wasn't sure what he thought of Cas, but seeing him beat like that had sent a course of rage through him. The idea that someone had hurt Castiel was something Dean couldn't stand.

"Mrs. Harvelle, I just... When I find out who did this I'm gonna rip their throat out!" Dean growled out.

"Dean you need to calm down. I understand you want to help your friend, but you're doing no good yelling here." Mrs. Harvelle said soothingly.

Dean took a few deep breaths to calm down before finally settling himself in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs in the waiting room.

"Go to class Dean. You can't be missing class. I promise, if we get more news on your friend or when your friend is better I'll have you called out of class, understand?"

It took a while until Dean took all the words in and nodded. He got up from the chair and started to head out to his class.

"Thanks Mrs. Harvelle." Dean said with a small smile before exiting the room.

***

For the rest of the day Dean was on edge. He couldn't focus on class. His mind kept wondering back to Cas.

Who had hurt him? Why had they hurt him? How was he? Would he be okay? Why was this taking so long?

So many questions rushed through Dean's mind and he had no answer for any of them. One thing he did know for sure was that he would beat the crap out of whoever did this to Cas.

Dean knew that there was something off about how he was reacting. If it was anyone else, any of his friends, he would be angry, sure, but he wouldn't be so worried and jittery about how they were. Dean was acting as if it was his younger brother who had been the hurt one.

There was something about Castiel that made Dean want to protect him, to keep him safe. Dean couldn't deny there was more to it. He felt this attraction to Cas, an attraction that scared him.

It wasn't right of him to be feeling this way towards Cas, yet here he was, doing just that.

Dean couldn't handle the waiting. He was heading to his last period, gym, when he was called over by Mrs. Harvelle.

"Your friend just woke up. He received severe blows to his back and torso. Luckily, nothing was broken or fractured. He will just be dealing with soreness and a black eye."

Mrs. Harvelle grimced as she spoke the last words.

Nodding, Dean asked, "Is it okay if I see him?"

With a smile, Mrs. Harvelle said, "Of course . Come along Dean."

She placed her hand on his back and lead him to the nurse's office.

***

Castiel woke up to a headache and an aching body. His vision blurred as he tried to grow acustomed to his surrounding.

Blinking a few times, Castiel slowly sat up and looked around.

He was in a white and blue room. Cabinets were filled with bandages, asprian, antiseptant, alchol, and thermometers. On the side of him was a bowl of ice and some ointment creams. He could see he was laying on a blue couch and an empty chair was next to his couch.

It didn't take long for Cas to realize he was in the nurse's office.

The day's ealier events were a blur. He remembered standing up for Balthazar, but after that everything was a mess.

Getting up gingerly, Cas walked over to a mirror on the walll. He could see he had a horrible black eye. He knew he was worst under his clothes. Lifting his shirt up gently he saw that the majority of his body was bruised.

The door to the office opened as Cas began to put down his shirt.

"Cas!"

Castiel turned to face a relieved Dean. He came up to him and gave a small smile.

"How are you? I found you in the hallways...brought you here..."

Dean looked to be filled with honest concern, yet Cas couldn't help but feel rage bubble in him. Rage and hurt.

"Why do you care?" He said sternly.

Dean was taken aback, hurt.

"I...I...I'm sorry I was a no show at snack. I just had a lot on my mind and needed time to think. I know, still a dick move. Can we get over it and start new?"

Dean gave a small grin and had a gleam of hope in his eyes.

Cas wished he could stay angry with Dean, but with those green eyes staring at him, asking for forgivness, it was impossible to deny.

Castiel huffed out before responding. "Okay..I guess we can."

With a grin, Castiel took his hand out. "The name's Castiel, Castiel Novak. Nice to mee you."

Dean gave a toothy grin. "Dean Winchester here, at your service."

The two boys stared at each other for a second longer before breaking contact.

Mrs. Harvelle stepped foward to speak. "Now Castiel you need to get home. I called your parents, but no one responded. Do you know of someone else we can call to come take you home?"

"I...um..." Cas was at a loss for words. How was he suppose to explain the absence if his parents? Before Castiel could think more of it, Dean piped up.

"I'll take him home Mrs. Harvelle. You know you can trust me."

Mrs. Harvelle gave Dean a smile before nodding. "Fine by me. Take him home Dean, in one piece!"

Dean shared a wink with Mrs. Harvelle and then turned to Castiel with a wide grin.

"Well come on, let me take you home."

All Castiel could do was muster a small 'thank you' and follow Dean out the doors.

***

"You know you don't have to do this. I can just walk home." Castiel stated, slightly demanding.

Dean and Cas had just exited school grounds and were heading in the direction of the student parking lot.

He didn't mean to come off as harsh, he just couldn't handle the idea of anyone, especially Dean, finding out where he lived. It wasn't in the bestest part of town and couldn't bare to see someone's disgust of his dwelings.

There were many questions that would be asked if Castiel allowed Dean to take him home. The first question that he knew he would ask was where his prents were. How was he suppose to explain that he didn't live with his parents?

No, things would become too complicated. Castiel was hoping to have his school life and personal life seperated. Not waiting for a response from Dean, he turned to his right and began the long trek home.

***

Dean was left dumbstruck for a few moments. He wasn't sure how to respond to Cas. He was knocked back into his senses when he saw the blue eyed, raven haired boy start walking.

Jogging up next to Cas he gently grabbed his arm.

"Wait up Cas."

Castiel turned to face Dean, slightly confused.

"Are you still mad? I'm sorry what I did earlier, really. Let me at least take you home. No offense, but you look like shit."

Castiel chuckled lightly. After a few laughs he responded light hearted.

"I'm not angry Dean. I understand and I did say we could start anew. I just prefer walking home."

At the last words Castiel looked away, Dean could see a nervousness come over the boy's body.

Not wanting to push anything on Cas, and wanting to fix what he messed up, Dean nodded an okay.

"Alrighty buddy. I understand too." He gave Cas a genuine smile before walking off in the opposite direction towards his car.

Halfway there he realized he'd forgotten something. Dean turned around and returned to Cas.

"Cas hold up!"

Again the blue eyed, raven haird boy turned to face Dean. with confusion.

Dean grabbed his arm up and began writing numbers on it.

"If you change your mind on your way home and need a ride, or if you just wanna talk, here's my number."

Dean winked as a goodbye and left with a smile still on his face.

***

Stupid. Castiel was simply stupid.

He was sitting in the hallway looking down at his textbook trying to focus, but it was pointless. His mind kept wandering off to his conversation with Charlie and Balthazar.

Should he approach Dean? Would it really be such a bad idea?

Castiel had no idea what to do. Dean had haunted his mind. Even when Cas tried his hardest, he couldn't stop himself from thinking about the boy with freckles and bow legs.

Frustrated with everything, Cas slammed his book shut and stood up to leave for class. He opened his locker and grabbed a few things before heading to his chemistry.

As he slammed his locker closed he was thrown against the lockers. Someone leaned into his ear.

"Hello Angel...miss me?"

A shiver ran through Cas' body. He recognized the British accent. It was Crowley.

Cas struggled against Crowley's hold on him, but it was no use. He was only pushed further against the lockers.

It had taken all of the week before to heal from Crowley's first assault. He wasn't sure how fast he'd heal this time.

"Leave...me...alone." Castiel said through gritted teeth.

A rough chuckle escaped Crowley's lips.

"You think you can tell me what to do? Again? Castiel you saw what happened last time. You are just to ignorant aren't you?"

Before Cas could respond he was punched on his right side of his body, right on his ribs.

Castiel whimpered out. Crowley wasn't done just yet. He repeatedly punched Cas and continuously slammed the boy into the lockers.

When it was all over Cas slumped to the floor, defeated. His body hurt. He didn’t have the strength to get up.

Crowley leaned down to level himself with Cas.

"This truly was fun, but I must be on my way. Until next time Angel." 

With a finally wink, Crowley walked away, leaving Cas all alone.

Needing someone, Cas took his phone out and called for help.

***

It had been a week and Castiel still hadn't called Dean. Dean wasn't sure what he had done wrong, but after giving his number to Cas, the boy had not talked to him since.

Sure there had been some few occasions when they said 'hi' or talked about school, but a real conversation, nope.

Dean had grown fidgety and been on edge. It bothered him to the core to not have Cas talking to him. He wished for the chapped lipped boy to call him, but his prayers were never answered.

With a week gone by, Dean began to give up on Cas and him getting to know each other. He should have known it was a lost cause the minute he screwed it up and left the boy on his own on the first day of school.

"Oh Dean you are one stupid son of a bitch." Dean grumbled to himself as he ate his lunch with his friends.

He was finishing off his sandwich when his phone started ringing.

Looking at the screen he saw it was an unknown number. Slightly confused, he answered.

"Hello?"

"De-Dean?"

He recognized that gravel like voice. It was Cas. He sounded broken, as if he was in pain.

"Cas what is it?" Dean asked, frantic.

"I...need your help. Come...to…my locker.."

Dean didn't hesitate. He quickly got up and ran out of the cafeteria in search of Cas.


	4. Let's Change Our Minds

Dean rushed up the stairs and down the hall. He needed to get to Cas. He wasn't sure what had happened, but from the tone of Castiel's voice he knew he was hurt. He only hoped it wasn't bad. 

It only took a few minutes to find him. He was slumped over on the floor near his locker. 

He ran to his side and gently righted him up. 

Dean frantically spoke to him, "Cas! Are you okay? What happened?" 

"I'm...I'm fine..just..everything hurts..." Castiel moaned out. He was struggling to get up, but it was pointless, he couldn't. 

Seeing him struggle, Dean gently grabned Cas' hands and helped him up. He tenderly placed an arm around his waist to keep him up. 

"I got you Cas. Don't worry, I got you." 

Castiel leaned against Dean for support. Slowly, Dean began walking with Cas toward the nurse's office. 

On the way, all Dean wanted to know was who had done this to Cas, again. 

***

Castiel felt sore all over. The beating hadn't been as bad as he had thought. If anything, Crowley had been gentler. 

He had called Dean because he was the one who helped him last time. He didn't want to worry Balthazar or anyone else because they would know who did this. 

When Dean had arrived Cas has hardly spoken. The Winchester had helped him up. He was walking him toward the nurse's office now. 

Halfway there, Cas spoke up. 

"Dean..I don't want to go to the nurse's...office." 

Dean looked down at him concerned. 

"Cas you're beat up pretty bad. Ya need to get checked out by someone." Dean retorted, not wanting to give in to Cas' request. 

"Please Dean." Castiel said quietly, looking up at Dean, begging. 

Dean exhaled loudly before responding. 

"Fine, but I'm taking you home then. And don't tell me I can't because I will take you Cas."

Castiel looked up at Dean in pure shock, and slight worry. He couldn't take him home, he couldn't. Looking at Dean he knew he wouldn't be changing his mind. 

With an uneasy feeling in his stomach, Castiel nodded solemnly. 

***

"Where do you live?" Dean asked as he got behind the driver's seat in his Impala. 

Castiel looked down, unsure of what to say, which only had Dean feeling bad. 

"Look, Cas, I get it. For some reason you don't want me taking you home. Sorry, I just don't want to see you beat up again." 

Dean gave him a half smile that had Castiel calming somewhat. 

"Let me take you the majority of the way home. When we are almost there, you can tell me to stop and I'll let you walk the rest of the way, okay?" 

Cas' body relaxed, filling with relief. He nodded at Dean's idea. 

They drove in silence for the rest of the ride, the only sound was the music coming from Dean's speakers, a soft rock song. 

When they were five minutes away from Cas' home, Cas patted gently on Dean's arm. 

"You can stop here."

Dean pulled the car to the side. 

"Alright."

Both boys looked at each, Dean drowing in Cas' blue eyes and Cas drowing in Dean's green eyes. Both boys were close to each to each other, their breaths mingling. Neither of them could look away. 

A trunk honked outside which caused both boys to jump away from each other. 

Dean was the first to make a noise. He cleared his throat. 

"Well, see you tomorrow Cas."

Castiel nodded, stepping out of the car. On the outside he waved a goodbye. 

"Thanks Dean, for everything." He beamed a smile. 

Dean smiled back, gave a short wave, and was soon gone. 

***

The next morning Castiel woke up from a blissful filled sleep. He had been dreaming about Dean and those forest green eyes. 

Castiel looked up at his ceiling with a smile. Dean was the only thing on his mind and Cas was okay with that. 

He soon got up and got ready for work. Again he had to work a few morning hours at the diner. It would usually bother Castiel, but he was in such a good mood that he didn't mind it one bit. 

***

It was five in the morning and Dean was up and getting ready for school. He hadn't slept much the night before with a specific blue eyed boy on his mind. 

By this point, Dean knew there was more going on in his head about Cas. Everytime he thought about him, he smiled. When he thought of his injuired body Dean filled with anger and wished to hurt the person hurting Cas. 

He may not have known much about this mysterious boy, but that didn't stop Dean from forming ideas. If anything, because he knew so little, he wished to grow close to Cas, to learn more about him. The question was, was what he wanted from Cas more than this friendship? 

Dean abruptly stopped his thoughts. No. They were not going to head in that direction again. Dean Winchester was not gay. However, would it be so bad if he was...

Too many jumbled emotions ran around in Dean's head and he just wished it all to stop. He began rummaging through his drawers for clothes when his brother woke up. 

"Dean..?" Sam questioned as he rubbed away the sleep from his eyes. 

"What are you doing up so early?" 

"Just getting ready for school Sammy." Dean answered as he continued his search for clothes. 

"You never get up this ealry, especially for school. What's going on?" Sam questioned, this time with more intrigue. 

Dean looked up at his brother, finally with some clothes in hand. "Sam I just needa get early to class today. Don't worry about it. Just get ready." 

With that Dean stepped out of the room amd headed to the bathroom for a shower. 

Sam was left with a dumbfound epression and many unanswered questions. 

***

Castiel arrived at school a half hour before it began. He smelled of rotten cabbage and bleach. Arriving at work, he had immediately been put to work cleaning out the garbage disposal (which almost lost him some fingers) and cleaning the restrooms.

Before leaving the diner, Castiel had changed into his school clothes, looking over his injured body in the small restroom. His skin was only lightly bluish now. He'd prodded at the injuries, which only sent a stinging sensation through him.

His face, to Cas’ relief, had been left with just a light blue tinge around his eye. He would be lucky to see it gone within a day or two.

Now at school, Castiel was slightly more confident. He had made sure to cover his injuries as well as he could. His only reason was to not worry his friends, and more importantly, not worry Dean.

Dean.

The bow-legged boy was still on his mind, and he knew he wouldn’t be leaving his mind anytime soon. Castiel smiled to himself at the thought.

After yesterday’s events, with Dean’s caring voice and eyes, Cas had begun to change his mind on whether he should persue this little thing with Dean. He had been adamantly stubborn before, but now, he wasn’t so sure he wanted to keep it that way.

For the first time in a long time Castiel had someone who worried for him, who wanted to protect him, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to let that slip from his grasp.

Getting items out of his locker, Cas was still in deep thought about Dean when he noticed a shadow cross his locker. His apprehension grew at the idea it could be Crowley until he looked up and faced those forest green eyes that hadn’t left his mind yet.

“Hello Dean.” Castiel said with a smile in his tone.

His day was already looking up now.

***

“Hey Cas.” Dean said with a gleam in his eye.

Coming to school had been a hassle. It had taken Dean a good thirty minutes before Sam had finally left him alone about why he was here so early.

Could Dean be blamed though? He was just trying to be a good friend, looking out for Cas, making sure the dick beating him up would leave him alone.

However as Dean thought more of it, he would tread along the territory of feelings.

Dean knew that whatever he was doing was wrong. He couldn't continue this, whatever 'this' was. Yet, when he remembered the day before, being with Cas, the last minute before he left, Dean had been ready to throw all his restraints away.

Castiel had pulled something in Dean and he hated it. He hated it because deep down he liked it. This blue-eyed boy he knew nothing about had captivated him.

Dean gave a wink in Cas' direction as he waited for a response.

"So I see that your here early?" Castiel questioned curiously.

"Yea. Just thought I should show up on time today."

"Well that's a good thought. So you decided to say hello before heading off to class, then?"

"Yea. And maybe...make sure you were okay?"

***

Damn Dean Winchester. Castiel, on the inside, lit up with a flame of adoration for Dean. The green-eyed stranger knew nothing about Cas, yet that didn't matter. He just wanted to be sure Cas was safe.

Castiel gave a small smile.

"I'm fine Dean. Thank you for your concern."

"No problem Cas. When I find the son-of-a-bitch that is doing this to you, he'll pay, I'll make sure of it."

Castiel cringed slighly. He didn't want to cause more problems with Crowley, especially when it involved Dean.

Dean noticed Cas' discomfort and cleared his throat as a change of subject.

"So anyways...um...Cas I don't really know you, and well, I was thinking since I do want to start all over with you, maybe we could get some food Friday and talk and get to know each other?"

Dean seemed to be turning a light pink, which Cas found endearing.

Castiel was unsure whether this outing was a date or just friends getting to know each other. Whatever it was, Cas was curious to find out.

He nodded.

"I'd enjoy that Dean. Friday around six okay for you?"

Dean smiled brightly, stopping Cas' heart from beating for a moment.

"Awesome dude. I have your number so I'll text you Thursday night to fill you in on details."

Castiel smiled.

"Very well then."

"Okay. Well, I'll be going now. Take care of yourself, and if anyone bothers you, tell me. Bye Cas."

Dean walked away waving at Cas before turning a corner to head to class.

Once Dean was out of sight Castiel slumped against his locker. His only thought was, "What am I getting myself into?"


	5. Not a Date!

Dean began pacing back and forth, fidgeting; biting his nails.

It was Friday night and it would be an hour until he needed to pick up Cas. Dean could feel his palms turning sweaty with nerves.

He wasn't even sure why he was working himself up. This was just two friends hanging out, nothing more. It wasn't like it was a date or anything. Nope nope nope, not a date.

Yet, if it was, what would be the problem? Besides his family and the whole school knowing. No. Dean couldn't handle that. He wasn't even sure he liked guys to begin with.

Sure there may have been moments when he'd seen a guy and found them highly attractive, but that didn't mean anything. Of course not.

However, there was no justice when it came to Cas. His perwinkle eyes, his raven black hair, his gracefuly chapped lips, and his clear, full face.

It didn't just stop at his face, though. Castiel held a body that anybody would be lucky to have a hold of. To be able to see what was under that trench coat of his would be a blessing.

So what if he had an awkward vibe about him? He was still, well, hot. And god Dean tried to deny it. This wasn't him. He didn't think this way about guys, he couldn't.

What would his family think...his parents...Sammy? He'd just be a disspointment. 

No, he wouldn't do that to them.

Dean inhaled a few times, looked over himself in the mirror, fixed his hair a bit, then went out to his baby to pick up a boy he only saw as a 'friend'.

***

Castiel had been ready earlier in the day. With nothing to do, he had begun to get ready around 3:00pm, only to be ready at 5:00pm, two hours earlier than neccessary.

He was sitting on the steps of the apartment. He would be meeting Dean at a 7-11, two blooks away to be picked up.

As he had waited all Cas could think about was what it was he was doing and whether he should be doing it.

He knew fairly well that Dean Winchester was not gay. That could only mean that this, what he and Cas were about to do, was only friends hanging out, not a date.

Knowing it was only friends hanging out and it could never be more, Cas felt a pang in his heart. It was ridiculous really. What, he'd known the guy for about three weeks now and he was already growing feelings. It wasn't right.

Castiel's whole reasoning for leaving his life behind, all his friends and his family, was not to fall for a straight boy. Falling for a straight boy had been the whole reason Cas had to pack up his bags and set off on his own.

Yet here he was, dreaming and admiring a young adonis like Dean Winchester, knowing exactly what the consquences would be. It was stupid of him.

He rubbed his hand across his forehead, already feeling the impending headache that would come. Damn him and his stupid feelings. He was smart, he should know better.

Cas looked down to his watch seeing he only had five minutes until Dean would be picking him up.

Getting up quickly, Cas began the two block walk, hoping tonight would go smoothly with no mishaps.

***

Dean bought Cas to The Roadhouse. They served the best burgers, best pie, and it had it's perks when he knew Mrs. Harvelle, Ellen outside of school, and Jo owned the place.

Castiel took a seat across from Dean and tentively looked over the menu. He knew what he wanted, but he couldn't bring himself to face Dean just yet.

Dean was doing the same. At some points he'd sneak a glance at Cas, but quickly looked away. He was grateful when Jo came to take their orders.

"So bacon cheeseburger, double the bacon, soda, and cherry pie on the side, right Dean?"

Jo smirked at Dean. Dean just smiled knowingly.

Seeing the whole ordeal between Jo and Dean sent a wave of jelousy over Cas. Jo was a pretty girl, lovely blond hair and the perfect oval face. She was made to be with Dean and it was seen clearly. The two bantering didn't help matters.

Not realizing he was doing it, Cas acted slightly cold to her, shooting daggers with his eyes.

"Jo, this is my friend Cas. Cas, Jo."

"It is nice to meet you Jo."

"Um yea, you too? So...what are you ordering?"

Jo could see the anger in Cas' eyes, however she didn't question it.

"I'll have your bacon cheesburger and soda as well."

Jo wrote everything down, gave Dean one last smile and Cas a half smile, not wanting to piss him off furthermore, and left. Once gone, Dean questioned Cas.

"No offense Cas, but if looks could kill."

Castiel looked up, slightly confused until he realized what he had been doing. He coughed to release some of the awkwardness.

"I'm sorry Dean. I didn't mean to. I'll be sure to apologize later. That was very rude of me."

Castiel hated the idea he would have to apologize to the blonde, but knew it was necessary. Dean simply nodded, unsure what to say.

It was quiet for a few more minutes as neither boy was sure what to talk about. Knowing Cas was the awkward, shy one, Dean spoke first.

"So Cas, how are your parents?"

Before Cas realized what he was saying he muttered, "I don't have parents."

Castiel immedietly covered his mouth. He wasn't suppose to say that. No one was suppose to know that. He couldn't face Dean. Saying a quick 'excuse me' Cas got up and left to the restroom.

Dean was left stunned. He knew something was up with Cas' parents. There was a reason Cas was scared when Dean mentioned dropping him off at his house.

However, this, the idea he has no parents, that was not what Dean had expected. He didn't have time to respond when Cas mumbled something and was out of his chair.

Seeing the mess of black hair going to the restrooms Dean got up to follow. He needed to check up on Cas.

Castiel was hyperventalating. He couldn't breathe clearly. Worry and panic began to overcome him.

What if Dean told someone? What if others overheard? Where would he go? What would he do?

Everything he had tried to keep secret, all the effort he had gone through to start anew would be all a waste. In three weeks times, because of a green eyed boy, Cas would be throwing everything away. He was pathetic.

The door to the restroom opened and in stepped in the corrpret of his demise, Dean.

All Dean could see was Cas freaking out. The poor guy couldn't get a hold of himself. It tugged at Dean's heart. It was his fault he was like this. Him and his stupid mouth.

Dean immedietly grabbed a hold of Cas.

"Cas, cas! Castiel calm down!"

Cas looked up at Dean, unsure what he was asking. He could see his lips moving, but could hear no sound. After several yells he finally heard 'calm down.'

Dean's eyes were filled with concern. Concern? Castiel soon relaxed. Dean hadn't run off to say anything, instead he was hear worrying over Cas.

Without meaning to, Castiel hugged Dean tightly. He needed some sort of solid form, some sort of comfort. All of this was too much.

Dean wrapped his arms tightly around Cas and mummered over and over again 'its gonna be okay.'

Once Castiel had regained his normal breathing he slowly stepped away from Dean.

"I...I am sorry for my behavior."

"Cas its fine. Don't worry about it. Just tell me, you okay now?"

After a few seconds of thinking, Cas nodded a yes.

"Alright. How about we finish our dinner and then get outta here? Okay?"

"Okay Dean."

They stepped out of the restroom and made their way to their table. Jo was waiting to set the food. Castiel looked sheepishly down, unsure what she would think of seeing he and Dean leaving the bathroom together.

Jo shot a questioning look to Dean who only whispered, "I'll explain later." She nodded an okay and left after putting the food down.

As both boys began to eat, Dean decided to talk. He talked in great detail about his baby and his music and how he found them as an escape, and he talked about Sammy. His voice spilled out pride when he mentioned his little brother which Cas could admire.

Castiel listened through it all, giving his little piece of commentary when neccessary. At some point Castiel began speaking. He went into detail about why he enjoyed art and how that was his means of escape. The previous incident in the restroom completely forgotten.

Instead of leaving right after finishing their food, the boys kept talking. Sometimes Dean would laugh when Cas didn't understand a refernece and cocked his head to the side in comfusion. Other times both boys would share a small, shy smile.

Ellen and Jo noticed this all from afar. They each smirked at the couple knowing exactly what was unfolding between the two.

Ellen sighed.

"I do hope that boy doesn't do anything stupid."

Jo chuckled.

"You and I both. I swear I'll kick his ass if Dean messes this up.

Ellen nodded, now smiling at the couple, both boys obvlious to the conversation between mother and daughter.

***

It wasn't until another hour later that both boys finally left The Roadhouse, each wearing a smile.

Dean opened Cas' door for him and soon made his way to the driver's side. They drove in silence, only Dean's music blaring through the speakers.

It was a peaceful silence. Neither boy wanted to break it. They enjoyed the other's presence.

They soon reached the 7-11. As Dean pulled into the parking lot, Cas stopped him, laying his hand on Dean's. He quickly removed it.

"Sorry. I...I would prefer if you dropped me off at home." Castiel could feel the ball of fear build in his stomach. However, it disappeared as he saw a smile come onto Dean's face.

"Whatever you say Cas."

He quickly pulled out of the parking lot and began following the directions Cas told him. It was a few minutes later until they stopped in front of Cas' apartment.

It wasn't the bestest of neighboorhoods, but Cas wouldn't conplain. However, as he stepped out of the car, Dean came out as well.

"Sorry Cas, but I am not gonna let you walk on your own here. Nope."

"Are you my bodyguard now Dean?"

"Damn straight I am."

Castiel chuckled at Dean's remark. His insides grew warm from Dean's protectiveness of him. He allowed Dean to walk him to the entrance of the building.

Once there Cas turned to face Dean.

"I had a fun tonight Dean. Thank you."

"Hey it was nothing Cas. You're a pretty cool guy, sure a little awkward, but nothing we can't work out."

Castiel blushed. He put his head down quickly to cover it.

Taking a deep breathe, Castiel spoke once more.

"I'm sorry for my behavior..earlier tonight..in the restroom..it was uncalled for and I am sorry."

Now Cas has his head down, fo another reason. Dean shook his head even though Cas couldn't see. He gently lifted Cas' chin up with his finger.

"Don't apologize. Okay? It was stupid of me to ask. Let's just forget about it."

Castiel wished to argue, knowing full well it wasn't Dean's fault. He didnt know. However, instead Cas nodded.

Dean smiled.

"I had a great time too."

Castiel now shone brightly with his smile. Dean had yet to remove his finger. Seeing the joy in Cas' eyes, instead of backing away Dean began to lean foward and soon his lips were on Cas'.

The other boy was shooked, unable to react. When it occured to Cas that Dean was kissing him, he soon closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Dean's neck.

Dean pulled Cas closer by the waist. His tounge asked permission and soon Dean was exploring Cas' mouth.

The moment Cas let out a moan without meaning too, Dean snapped into reality. He was kissing Castiel, a boy.

Dean jumped off Cas and began to quickly back away, panic rising.

"I'm so sorry Cas. I'm so sorry. I'm not gay. I swear. This was a mistake. I need to go. This wasn't suppose to happen. I don't see you that way. Oh my god I'm sorry. I...I have to go."

The last thing Dean saw was the crumpled, saddned face of Castiel.


	6. Regret and Sorrow

He was an idiot. A pathetic idiot that had just hurt someone he had never wanted to hurt. He was the jack ass that found his only answer in running away rather than facing the situation. Damn him and his stupidity.

Dean had just made it home and he couldn’t bring himself to step out of his Impala. He could feel his eyes burning with the heat of his tears. He clenched the stirring wheel with such force his knuckles were white. His body shook with the threat of sobs taking over his body.

How could he do this? How could he hurt him? How could he just leave him there? How could he say he regretted it, that it meant nothing? Damn it! What had he done?

Dean had screwed up. Leaving Cas at his apartment, his last image of him with tears streaming down his eyes with his shoulders sagged in defeat, still burned in his mind. After a wonderful night that Dean couldn’t deny was not a date, Dean had ruined everything. Cas, after so many attempts, had finally opened up to the freckled faced boy, and what had Dean done? He had thrown that trust right in the boy’s face and embarrassed him.

There must be a good explanation for all of this. Of course there was. There has to be. But Dean knew better. He had no excuse. He was scared of what his friends would think, what his family would think. His reputation meant more to him then the feelings he now knew he had. His reputation was more important than Cas‘ feelings. It wasn’t easy, though. Seriously. Out of all the places to live in, Lawrence, Kansas was not the place you openly went out and said, “Hey everybody, guess what! I’m gay!. 

It pained him. How could it not? As much as Dean wished that this wasn’t a big deal, that he and Cas could get over this, he knew better.  Just from the look on the blue eyed boy’s face he knew the boy had feelings for him. He could feel it in the kiss. This was not something he could simply slip under a rug. And it wasn’t just Cas’ feelings that were being crushed here, but his own as well. Dean was being crushed. He liked Cas, he couldn’t deny that.  Seeing the boy crying in the bathroom had sent him into a protective state. He wanted to help Cas, protect him, keep him safe.

There was more to it then just saving the boy, though. Cas was a full sprit. He glowed with happiness when he spoke of his drawing. There was this shine in his eyes when he spoke about his future. He was filled with dreams and aspirations and even though there was something in the past that haunted the boy, he had high hopes for his future.

All Dean wished for was to be part of that future. To help him through not having his parents and through his past that he was still too scared to talk about. He wanted to be there for him when he moved past it and began forming this amazing future he had planned for himself. Of course you don’t always get what you want, especially if you’re the one that screwed it all up and made it worse for the boy. 

Taking one last shuddering breath, Dean exited the Impala and made his way into his house. It was a little past eleven and he knew everyone would be asleep. Walking into the living room he saw that his mother was still awake, reading a book. Instead of going straight to his room, Dean made his way to Mary, hugged her, and finally allowed the tears to slip from his eyes. Stunned, Mary dropped her book and began hugging her son back, telling him everything would be okay.

***

Castiel, after standing out in the cold for over an hour with tears streaming down his face, had finally decided to go up to his apartment. He had hoped that maybe, just maybe, Dean would come back down the road and tell him he was sorry and hadn’t meant anything he had said before. It was wishful thinking on Cas’ part and he knew he should have been realistic, but he just wasn’t prepared to be wrong.

The night had started a bit awkward with him running off to the bathroom, but after the incident things had turned out to be great. Dean and him had began talking about everything; school, music, hobbies, hopes and future desires. Dean talked with such passion when he spoke about classic rock, his Impala, and his brother Sam. There was such heart in Dean, probably more than he cared to believe.

Dean was a good person, Cas could see that. It was because of this that Cas had decided it was okay for Dean to drop him off home. Cas couldn’t deny that there was some bias in his decision since he knew he was falling for the green eyed boy. Of course he was not going to act on those feeling, however Dean had a different idea. When he had kissed Cas, it had been like there were fireworks. As corny as that sounded, it was true. Cas hadn’t anticipated for the events after to occur and it still tore at his heart when thinking about it.

Now in his room all Cas wished to do was cry all his hurt away, dig a hole, and stay there until all the pain went away, but that was impossible. He knew this was his fault, he should have known better. It had already happened once, how could he let it happen again. Frustration built up in the raved haired boy.

His parents, his family, they were all right. He was a screw up, a faggot that only ruined everyone else, tainted everyone else. Newly formed tears began to fall down Cas’ face as he remembered the last things his parents said. He should have listened to them, he should have gotten himself help, something! Did he do that? No. Instead he moved to a new town on his own only to mess up something with a boy who wanted nothing to do with him.

Cas could still clearly see the disgust and horror on Dean’s face. The horrible understanding that passed his face when he saw that he had kissed Cas. All of it hurt too much. He couldn’t bare it so instead he cried. Monday would be hell, but he would live through it, he couldn’t move again, he couldn’t afford it.

Resigned, Cas soon feel into a restless sleep.

***

Three weeks passed. Three weeks since the kiss happened. Three weeks since both boys realized they held feelings for the other that could never be recuperated. Three weeks since both boys had last talked to each other.

Dean had slowly become withdrawn from his friends. Coming back that Monday after the incident Dean had been able to plaster on his fake smile and laugh with his friends. As the days passed, his fake smile soon began to falter. Every time he would see Cas, he could feel that pull in his chest. The blue eyed boy would be laughing at something Balthazar or another of his friends would say. If he saw Dean, a flash of sadness would pass his precious face before he quickly turned away and disappeared into the mass of students. Dean wished desperately to speak to him, but he didn’t have it in him to go talk to him.

Jo had been the first to notice the depression her friend was slowly falling into. Ash and Benny soon began to notice too. All of them had made a decision to help their friend. It was at lunch three weeks after the incident when the friends had pulled Dean aside and confronted him on his state of behavior.

“Dean, Ash, Benny and I are worried about you,” Jo had began with worry in her voice.

“Yea brother, you haven’t been yourself. You never give is one of those ’Dean Winchester’ smiles anymore. You just seem¼empty.

“Man, Benny and Jo are right. You and I always use to talk about what was going on with how crappy music was becoming and now, if I mention anything you just nod along, not really there.”

“Before you go telling us you’re okay Dean, you need to know that we know you better than anyone, especially me Dean. Come on, you’re like my brother and I know when something is up with you.”

As Jo spoke her final words, after Benny and Ash gave their own words, Dean just laughed. It was a forced laugh, one he was hoping to pass as a real one. His friends only eyed him more worried.

After a moment, Dean finally spoke.

“Guys you’re funny. Really. Me, different? I’m not sure what you guys have been drinking, but seriously I’m fine. Okay, sure I may be acting ‘differently’ but its only because I’m freaking out about passing and graduating this year. I don’t know if you guys forgot, but I’m not the brightest light bulb. It’s just getting to me now because I realized that crap, I need to graduate. So thanks for your worries, but I’m fine, really.”

With a final look of assurance to his friends, he said his goodbye and walked away. As Dean turned his back on his friends, they all shared a concerned look. Dean could feel tears prick his eyes as he walked down that hallway knowing he was far from okay.

***

Coming back that Monday morning, Castiel had been quick to keep to himself for a while. He wasn’t prepared to face his friends, and more importantly, to face Dean.

Over the weekend Cas had been an emotional wreak. He had spent it either crying, or yelling, or throwing things, or just sitting in silence. He knew that he shouldn’t allow this one incident to ruin him like this, but it had opened wounds he had wished to keep closed.

That morning Cas had gone to work, going through his normal routine, but stepping into the school grounds had arisen the weekend’s sadness. Going through his classes had been a struggle. His friends had asked what was up that first Monday back. He had lied and said school was stressful. After that Monday, he was able to pull up a false front.

As each day passed, Cas pulled himself through work, classes, and his friends. When necessary he would talk and laugh. At points, he would feel his façade break when he saw Dean laughing with his own friends or just pass him in the hallway. He wished he could pull him aside and ask him why he had kissed him, but he knew it would be pointless.

It was around the second week that Cas had soon began to grow a hatred for the bow -legged boy. He resented what he had done to him and how he had just kicked him to the curb like trash. He may be gay, but he wasn’t trash. Every time he would see him a flash of sadness would cross over his face before it was replaced with anger. Cas knew he was only doing this to mask his sadness, but he didn’t care. He sure as hell preferred this rather than his sadness.

Charlie and Balthazar knew something was up. They had tried talking to Cas a few times, trying to get something out of him, but had failed. Seeing that their friend was still passing classes and sharing the occasional smile put their worries to rest a bit. However, it was Anna and Gabriel, the quiet ones, that knew better. They may had not been the talkative ones with Cas at the beginning, but now they were going to take action.

It was three weeks after the incident when the two had pulled Cas aside. Castiel had been stunned, not completely understanding what was going on.

It was Anna who spoke first.

“I know Gabe and I don’t talk to you much, but we know when someone isn’t okay and you my friend are far from it.

“Yea Cassie. You’re not okay, seriously. I see those moments when you look like you’re gonna cry at the spot. And I also see those moments when you look like you could kill someone.  Something is up and you need to tell someone, get it fixed.

“Gabriel is right Castiel. I know you don’t want to. I can see it in the way you are looking at us. I also know that you wont tell us anything right now. What you need to know is that what you’re doing wont help you, its only going to get worse. At least now you know people who care.”

“Balthazar and Charlie are worried too, but they are telling themselves you’re okay. For the care of you’re friends, and the care of your own well-being, you need to find that moment to come out and talk.”

Castiel eyed the red head and hazel haired girl and boy. He was shocked beyond belief. The two had rarely shown a sign that they even knew he existed. However, here the two were, stating how worried they were. Cas had been sure he had hid his emotions well, apparently he was wrong.

Taking a deep breath, a small smile appeared on Cas’ face before he spoke 

"Thank you for your concerns. I’m glad that you seem concerned for my well being, but I assure you, I am fine. If I look to be sad or angry, it is nothing.  I am new here and I am just worried about how my credits and grades from my previous school will cross over here. It is nothing more.”

With a final nod, Cas turned away from the two and made his way to his next class. He could feel a tear slip his eye as he entered his fifth period class.

** 

Dean didn’t make it far after leaving his friends. He had only turned down a hallway when he was cornered by his little brother.

“Dean whats wrong? And don’t tell me ‘nothing’ or ‘I’m fine.’ You know damn well that I’m a smart kid and know you the best. So tell me, let me help.”

It had taken a second for Dean to realize that one, his brother had stopped him, and two, he knew something was up. He wanted to forget everything, to just be able to go through a day where he didn’t have to think about Cas. Of course that was impossible, especially today.

Sighing, Dean looked up at his brother, a tear still sliding down his face, and began talking. He needed someone to talk to, someone who he hoped to God wouldn’t judge.

“I fucked up Sammy¼I fucked up so bad¼I had something that I could have gone for, hell I could have been happy, and I screwed it all up.”

Sam looked up at his brother worried. Dean wasn’t one to cry, definitely not in front of him. Something was up and all he wished to do was help his big brother out.

“What happened?”

“Sam if I tell you¼you’ll want nothing to do with me¼you’ll hate me¼”

“Dean you know there is nothing you could ever tell me or do that could make me hate you.”

Dean took a deep breath and let out the one secret he had hoped he could keep to himself.

“I’m gay.

Unable to face his brother, Dean looked down to the floor, not wanting to see the judgment, or disgust, or hate. He was stunned when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up he saw his brother smiling down at him.

“Dean just because you don’t like girls doesn’t mean I’ll hate. To be honest I kinda figured. Come on dude, we both know you have a crush on Dr. Sexy.

Dean let out his first genuine laugh in a long time. It was times like this when he loved his brother more than anything. Seeing his brother laughing and smiling gave some hope in Sam. However, he still didn’t understand how Dean had screwed up.

“What did you screw up, Dean? You said you messed up pretty bad¼what happened?”

Sam slowly saw the smile fade from his brothers face and saw it replaced by sadness. Dean knew he couldn’t beat around the bush anymore, he needed to tell Sam. 

Holding nothing back he told Sam everything. Starting from when he first saw Cas fall through the Main Door, all the way to ditching him that first snack, helping him after getting beat up, giving him his number, helping him again, asking him out, the date, kissing him, and then ruining everything by saying he had regretted the kiss. All through it Sam listened intently, never interrupting. When Dean finished it he let out a shuddering breath, the threat of tears falling down his face.

Without a word, Sam pulled his brother in for a hug.

“You need to talk to him Dean. Tell him how you feel, tell him sorry, and more importantly, explain everything. I’m sure he’ll understand. You just need to talk to him.”

Dean nodded, knowing his little brother was right. He would talk to Cas, he had too. He’d find him after school and tell him everything. He would fix it, he had too.

***

Castiel could only stand to be in his fifth period class for a minute before abruptly getting up and leaving the class. Charlie sent him a questioning glance as he rushed out the door. The teacher simply allowed him to leave, figuring something was wrong.

Anna’s and Gabriel’s conversation with him still rang clear in Cas’ head, as well as the words Dean last spoke to him. Castiel wished that everything could be forgotten, that he could simply move on from this, but he couldn’t. Maybe if it had been the first time, maybe if he didn’t have the past he carried with him, then he could simply move on. However, that wasn’t the case. This wasn’t the first time for this to happen, and he certainly didn’t have the clean past he wanted.

Was it too much to ask for to start clean? To be happy for once? Of course it was. Castiel wasn’t mean to be happy, no he deserved all the heartache and pain that came his way. Ya know why? Because he was gay. He knew it since the day he was born, God hated homosexuals, it was the greatest sin to love the same gender. It was engrained into his brain by his family. Yet what had he done? He had gone ahead and allowed himself to be gay. 

It wasn’t his fault though! It couldn’t be! He was born this way, he knew it. He couldn’t be blamed for what he was born with. Why would God say he hated homosexuals, yet have his children born as them? No, there had to me more to this. He wasn’t a disgrace, he wasn’t a sin, he was good, he was pure. He wouldn’t let others tell him different, he wouldn’t let his parents get to him and he certainly wouldn’t let Dean get to him

Castiel found himself in the bathroom, looking into the mirror with tears running down his face. He looked so pathetic. Was this what would become of him? A pathetic fool that couldn’t let go and grow some confidence for himself? He had to change, he had too.

With one final glance, he began to clean off his face and taking deep breaths to calm himself. He needed to return to class.

As he turned to leave, another person came in. Castiel had his head down not wanting others to see his red, puffy eyes. He didn’t realize that the person in the bathroom was the last person he wanted to see.

“Hello Angel.”

Castiel lifted his face to look into the evil eyes of Crowley.

“Oh darling are you crying? What happened? Your boyfriend break up with you?”

Cas felt rage well up in him.

“Leave me alone Crowley. I don’t have time for you.”

Castiel made a move to exit the bathroom, only to have Crowley step in front of him.

“I thought I told you I don’t like be talked down to Angel, especially by you, a fg.”

Castiel felt himself cringe. He couldn’t stay in here, he needed to leave. However, before he could try leaving again, Crowley turned to lock the door and then grabbed Cas by the lapels of his coat and shoved him into a stall. 

“Maybe I should show you a lesson Angel. I’m sure I’ll feel better than your boyfriend.”

Shivers began to run through Cas’ body as he heard Crowley’s last words. He was speechless and still. With ease, Crowley shoved him against the wall.

“I’m going to have  fun with you Angel. I promise you’ll enjoy it.”


	7. Let the Towers Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys so I've noticed more people are reading this story and I'm glad. However, I hope you all remember the warnings! This chapter is when said warnings come! For your luck its right at the beginning of the chapter. If you wish to skip over the part, just scroll down until you see this "***" I divide my chapters into parts, which I'm sure you noticed, so once you find the very first division you will be past the rape/non con part of this chapter! Again sorry and if you hate me I understand! Thanks for reading guys!

“I’m going to have  fun with you Angel. I promise you’ll enjoy it.”

Castiel felt his breath quicken, his body soon went into lock down as Crowley’s words crawled over his skin. He wanted to fight back, to struggle, to yell, to do something. Instead the boy let everything happen, only shedding tears as the ordeal unfolded.

Crowley had rough hands that shoved him face first into the tile wall. He didn’t bother being gentle, never once saying sweet nothings. The man simply took what he wanted. With Cas’ face against the cold wall, Crowley began sucking at the boy’s neck. A whimper escaped the smaller boy, wishing for this to stop, to not go further, but that only urged the Scottish boy on.

It was a slow process. Crowley wished for Castiel to suffer, he wished to leave his impression on the innocent blue-eyed boy, never to be forgotten. He had pulled Castiel’s trousers and boxers down roughly, scraping his pale legs on the way down. With his bare ass on display to a man he wished to never touch him. Fingers were stuffed into Cas’ mouth. In a husky voice Crowley said, “Lick them like a good slut.”

Castiel had whimpered, wishing to not do so, but instead, with sobs raking through his body, he did as he told, sucking on Crowley’s fingers. Once they were spit-slicked, he felt the brutal intrusion of them in his body. Crowley pushed in and out, leaving no warning and sending a searing pain through Cas. More tears fell, but nothing could be stopped. When Crowley deemed it worthy, he took his fingers completely out only to unsheathe his own pants. 

Hearing the loud zip of Crowley’s pants was the one thing that had finally pushed Castiel into panic. He had hoped to God that of anything, Crowley would not do this. He had hoped he would not take the one thing precious to him. Seeing as his wishes would not be answered, Cas began to fight back. He wiggled and pushed, trying to escape.

The only thing to ensue, was an angry Crowley who would not be so easily thrown off. Uncaringly, he slammed Castiel’s head against the wall and wrapped a tight hand around his neck, cutting his circulation off.

“Don’t you dare fight me Angel. I will have what is mine.”

Before killing Castiel with asphyxiation, Crowley let go of the boy’s neck, and finally removed his pants in one swift moment. The feel of the taller man’s cock against his back made Castiel whimper, knowing what was to happen next and not being able to stop it.

Crowley rammed into Cas, over and over and over again. He was fast and rough, opening Castiel too wide and hurting the boy in front of  him. His sweat dripped onto Cas, only making him more nauseated. As Crowley grunted and pounded in, Castiel simply shut his eyes, trying to block everything out. It was soon over when Crowley finally came inside of Castiel. Feeling his wetness in him made Castiel sob out, unable to control his cries.

A smirk on his face, Crowley put back his clothes and let Castiel fall to the floor.

“This was fun Angel. We shall do this again.”

Giving the broken boy one last glace, the Scottish boy left. 

Once gone Castiel cried. Have naked on the bathroom floor he cried and cried and cried. Tears fell from his eyes like rivers. He had been violated, his own being stolen. He could still feel Crowley in him, the smell in the room thick. Before he knew it, Castiel was puking into the toilet. He threw up until all he was heaving out was dry air.

He deserved this. In some horrible logic he had deserved this. This is what happened when you were gay. You got rapped, you got hurt, you had your heart ripped out. Castiel felt nothing now. All he wished was for everything to end, for him to just find peace. Within seconds, Castiel soon feel unconscious.

***

Dean was sitting in his fifth period class. He was sitting next to Lisa Braeden. She was a pretty girl with brunette hair and a killer body, something he couldn’t deny. If things were different, he would have asked her out. However, now, now he was fine being friends with her. She was nice and helped him through the class, which was more than he could ask for.

It was half way through the period, Dean laughing at something Lisa had said, when Mrs. Harvelle came rushing into the class, tears falling down her face. Dean immediately got up, knowing something was terribly wrong. He made his way to the front, wanting to know what was wrong. Mrs. Harvelle turned to Dean and soon pulled him into a tight hug. Dean was caught off guard, unsure what was happening. He hugged her back to reassure her.

“Hey Ellen, its okay. Just tell me what’s wrong. Maybe I can help.”

Mrs. Harvelle shuddered, tears continuing to spill down her face. After a few moments, she finally settled enough to speak one word; Cas.

Dean didn’t bother trying to find out what had happened. He was out the door before anyone could stop him. Dean Winchester had never ran as fast as he did that Friday afternoon. His class was all the way on the other side of the school campus. He had never wished more than that day that he a class next to the nurse’s station. His legs felt like they couldn’t take him fast enough. Reaching the nurse’s had felt like an eon, but finally he had made it. 

Outside the door were policemen and paramedics. Dean began to fall into a panic. What the hell had happened? Where was Cas?” Dean rushed toward the officers, needing answers.

“What happened! Someone tell me what happened!

A young women with a concerned expression came up to Dean.

“Is there something I can help you with young man?”

“My friend…Cas…tell me what happened to him! Damn it tell me!”

The officer’s face soon feel, a small tear slipping her eye. Dean began to feel hot tears prick his eyes. This was not good, not good.

“Son my name is Jody, Sheriff Jody Mills. Your friend Castiel Novak was assaulted. We aren’t sure how severely, but he was found in the boy’s restroom half naked.”

Dean felt like someone had trapped him in water. He couldn’t breath. He felt like his world was falling around him. Not Cas, no, not Cas, not Cas!

Tears streamed down the green-eyed boys face. This was his fault! He was his friend! He knew someone was hurting him! He was suppose to protect him! Dean turned toward a row of locker and began punching them. When he finally heard something crack, he fell to the floor, a crumpled mess.

Jody quickly came to the boy’s aid and helped him up. She pulled him into a hug and told him they would help his friend, they would find who did this. Dean only whimpered, wanting to see Cas.

After a few moments, someone exited the nurse’s office. Dean was stunned for a moment when he saw it was Jessica, Sam’s friend. Seeing Dean soaked in tears, she quickly rushed to his side.

“Dean are you okay? Are you here…for Cas?”

Dean only nodded, not trusting his voice.

“He was just taken to the hospital. It’s Saint Mary’s Hospital. I’ll call Sam, we’ll meet you there. Go ahead, Cas will need you.”

Dean wasn’t sure what had happened as he felt the young blonde kiss him on the cheek as comfort before making her way down the hallway. Whatever Sam had told her, he was grateful. He knew where Cas was and he was sure as hell going to be the first person in. Cas needed someone there when he woke up, he needed a friend.

Avoiding Sheriff Mill’s warnings of his injuries, Dean ran out the door and ran to his Impala, he needed to get to the hospital.

***

Pain; soreness and pain.

Castiel awoke to the sound of a monitor beeping. Moving his eyelids to open sent a wave of pain course through his body. He tried to wiggle his fingers, lift his limbs, breathe deeply. Each movement was agonizing. Unable to take the torture, Castiel seized moving and laid in his bed motionless.

He knew where he was, a hospital. The antiseptic aroma in the air was proof enough of Cas’ location. The beeping that had awoken him was a heart monitor, he knew enough. He could feel of needles in his skin, sticking into his veins. Something had happened to him, something very, very bad.

Bits and pieces swirled in Castiel’s mind. He tried to piece the jigsaw of his mind, but that only ended to the formation of a headache. Still, he forced his brain to comply, he needed answers and the only way in finding them would be fixing his memory.

Then finally, one memory became crystal clear in Cas’ mind; Crowley pounding into his body.

All at once, the puzzle pieces fell into place. The feel of a strangers hands al over his body, the realization that there was no where to run. Helplessness and fear took over the Novak boy. Sobs raked through his body as he began to kick and scream. Everything had been taken from him and now he had nothing left, only a tarnished body and soul. The worst part was that he has deserved this. He knew he had deserved this.

Giving out one last cry, Castiel curled into a ball, weeping until he fell asleep.

***

“Novak! Castiel Novak! I know he’s here! You have to tell me where! I‘m begging you!”

Dean fought with the nurse, anger filling him to the brim. No one would tell him where Castiel was and it angered him. Couldn’t they see he was her to help! For Christ’s sake the guy had no one! He needed someone with him when he woke up!

Never had Dean felt so helpless at he did at that moment. He wanted to hit something, to let out his rage in hurting something, preferably the person behind this. All he was left was to be able to do was yell and make demands to deaf ears. He wasn’t sure how long he was there when he saw the entrance doors open and in step Ellen.

She rushed to his side and hugged him tightly, her tears settling on top of Dean’s head. Unable to hold in all the pain he had, Dean began sobbing.

“I-I-I wa-was sup-sup-pose to he-help him!”

This was all his fault, all of it. Damn him and hi stupidity! If he had just talked with Cas, let his doubts go and talk with him, this would never had happened! He was suppose to be his friend and he had simply shut the boy out! Who did that! That’s right, Dean fucking Winchester!

Ellen hugged Dean tighter, trying to soothe the boy in her arms.

“It okay, everything is going to be okay. This isn’t your fault Dean, none of this is your fault.”

Dean continued to cry in her arms, unaware of the other people that arrived.

The first to make it to the hospital were Sam and Jess. Finding his bother, Sam took Dean from Ellen and held his brother in a strong hug, he himself crying as well.

“Its gonna be okay Dean, he’s gonna be okay.”

A sob only broke from Dean’s throat. Jess came and gently patted his back in a soothing manner, her own tears spilling down her face. Dean separated from his brother and tried to regain his composure.

“Thank you, the both of you…and Jess, I owe you so much.”

Before more could be said, Ash, Adam. Jo and Benny made it in. The boy’s faces were filled with concern, all trying to keep their emotions in check. Jo didn’t care, crying out her eyes.

Jo ran to Dean and hugged him tightly.

“Dean, oh God Dean, I’m so sorry.”

Soon after the boys made it to Dean and all hugged him, each telling him everything would work out, everything would be okay. Not trusting his voice, Dean simply nodded through his tears.

Next to make it where his parents. John and Mary Winchester ran to their sons and gathered them in a hug. The family cried silently for the poor boy who was in a hospital bed at the moment.

After the reunion, Sam directed his parents to the nurse station to find a way to see Castiel. That left Dean alone in the hallway. His friends and Ellen had made it to the waiting room. He was left to face Castiel’s friends alone.

Charlie and Balthazar made it there first. They were unsure why exactly Dean was there, never having seen Cas with the older Winchester. Needing answers they ran up to him, question after question being asked. 

“Where is he?”

“What happened?”

“Why are you here?”

“Is he okay?”

Dean took a deep, shaky breath, before responding.

“Castiel…was assaulted…and he was taken here after…after…being found half naked…I don’t know where he is…they wont let me see him.”

Dean shut his eyes tightly, holding in his tears. His heart ached knowing someone had violated Cas. He just hoped it was harassment, that nothing was done beyond that, that Cas wasn’t…raped.

His fists closed over his eyes as he felt another wave of tears come. Charlie and Balthazar, seeing the boy struggling, patted him on the shoulder a moment, tears in their own eyes, before making their way to the waiting room.

Dean felt like he would fall to the floor again. He couldn’t take not knowing. He needed to know what had happened with his blue-eyed friend, he needed to be with Cas

Before he could make another attempt with the nurses, Gabriel and Anna entered the hospital. They didn’t bother with introductions. Instead, the moment they saw Dean they attacked. 

“You asshole!

“This is your fault!

“Castiel didn’t deserve this!”

“Justecause he’s gay didn’t mean you had to go and tell the world! Look what happened!”

“Castiel liked you! And even if you didn’t like him back, you could have at least been a friend instead of kicking him to the curb! 

Even though Castiel had no idea, Gabriel and Anna knew what had ensued between Dean and Cas. They had been outside, coming late to school, when they saw Cas enter Dean’s Impala those weeks ago. They were smart and had put things together. They had also seen the two at The Roadhouse on their date and knew enough to know what was going on. Whether their accusations were valid or not, they didn’t care. Their friend was hurt and Dean was the only person at fault here.

Dean cringed back, more tears forming. He didn’t bother defending himself, finding it as a waste. Instead he took every accusation as a blow and kick.

Just when he thought he couldn’t take it anymore, a doctor made his way toward him.

“Winchester, Dean Winchester here for Castiel Novak?”

Dean immediately pulled himself together and made his way to the doctor, trying to hold himself together.

“M-me. I’m Dean Winchester. What’s…what’s wrong with Cas?

The doctor looked down, sadness hiding in his eyes.

“Is there more people to see him, son?”

“Ye-yes. In the waiting room.

The doctor nodded at Dean and soon he, followed by Gabriel and Anna, all made it to the waiting room. The doctor took a deep breath before speaking to everyone.

“Castiel suffered  a concussion to the head and bruising all over his body. He was slammed against a wall repeatedly, head first, so there is swelling in his brain, however it is minimum. He will be kept under observation for the next few days.”

Dean perked up. Of course Ca was hurt, and the bruising all over his body sent a flame of anger come up in his body, but he didn’t look to be hurt too terribly, maybe things weren’t too bad.

He was wrong.

The doctor sighed heavily before continuing.

“Finding him in the position he was in, we made the decision to run a rape kit. We found that Mister Novak was raped, the fluids from his attacker still in his body. He had been wounded from behind and it will take him time to heal.”

Dean felt like his world was falling apart. No. No no no no no. Not Cas. Not sweet, innocent, carefree Cas. No! This was not happening, it was not happening!

“Where is here? Please tell me where he is.”

Dean didn’t even care that tears were flowing freely down his face, mixed with the mucus escaping his nose. He needed to see Cas, he needed to help him.

“Room 1201”

Dean ran down the hall, ignoring the calls from his friends or the doctor.

***

Castiel had just woken from his sleep, the memories still fresh in his mind. He shivered, from the cold, the loss, the pain. He would live with this until he died, never forgetting. Crowley had won, he had left his imprint on Cas.

Castiel felt tears fall down his face. He began to cry, finding nothing else to stop all the sorrows he lived with.

He was shocked when the room to his hospital room was opened wide. He didn’t have time to understand what was happening or who had entered. All Cas could see was the flash of green and dirty blonde in a mix of plaid and denim jeans.

When the image became clearer. Castiel felt himself flinch inwardly, curling into his ball once more, his shuddering increasing.

Dean saw the shuddering form that was Cas and made his way to him 

“Castiel…Cas, don’t cry.”

Dean had just noticed the boy’s blue eyes were red rimmed and wet.

“Oh Cas please don’t cry. Don’t cry. Its okay now. Things, things are going to get -”

“Out! Get Out!”

There was silence as Cas’ words echoed off the walls. Dean felt himself freeze, the harshness of Castiel’s word creeping through his skin.

“Cas-”

“Get out Dean! This is all your fault! AL OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT ! Get out! I never want to see you again!

As Cas spoke his last words, the others had made it to the room. Dean never knew real pain, real heartbreak, real loss, until that moment.

He ran out of the room, out of the hospital, and made it to his Impala. He turned the ignition on and sped out of there.

 

Dean was done, he was completely done. Cas had been right, all of this, all of it, was his fault. 


	8. Going to Try to Make it Better

John finds Dean hunched over the hood of a '66 red chevelle as AC/DC blasts through a radio on a chair. He can hear the tinkering of tools and see the muscles through the sweat drenched shirt Dean wears, move with violent effort. They're at Bobby's garage, a few blocks away from the hospital.

When everyone had finally caught up with Dean at Cas' hospital room, no one was prepared for what would occur. Castiel had yelled at Dean, blamed him, and told him to leave. The anger and fear in the young boy's voice had shocked John. He had wanted to help his son, stand by his side, but looking at the distraught boy he knew he couldn't step forward. What had happened to Cas was something no one could take lightly. Nonetheless, Dean being blamed had made no sense. Before he could question his son, he was running out the room.

For a few moments everyone had stood their ground, unsure if any movement or sound would trigger another outburst from Cas. Slowly things had begun to relax. A few friends of the boy's, Charlie and Balth-something, had come to the boy's aid. Seeing no need to stay, John kissed his wife goodbye and left to search for his son.

Knowing Dean as long as he had, John knew exactly where he would find him. Since the boy could walk, John had made it his job to teach the boy right. The first thing he had done was show Dean what good music really was. He doused his ears with Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Metallica, Kansas, and ZZ Top. He next taught Dean the inner workings of cars, showing him what true beauty was.

Dean latched onto the music fairly quickly, growing his own fondness for the guitar riffs and 'rock-n-roll' theme to it. For cars, it was just the same. What John taught him, Dean learned quickly. He may not have been the smartest student, but when it came to cars and music, he was a genius. That was why it was no surprise to find his son at Bobby's garage already working in a car with the music on full blast. If there was anything to get Dean's mind off of crap, this was it.

John stayed standing near the entrance of the garage, unsure what he would tell his son. He wasn't exactly sure of the circumstances himself. All he knew was Dean was friends with the Novak kid, the Novak kid had been getting bullied and was recently assaulted who for some reason, blamed Dean, and now Dean had run off here. John wished he had some more details about everything, but he would just have to work with what he had.

Tentively, John walked over to Dean, his footsteps falling silent as the music over took all the noise. Falling next to Dean, John took a deep breath and spoke.

"How she looking?"

Dean's body tensed as he realized he was not alone. Turning, he looked to his father bewildered before composing himself and relaxing. Returning his gaze to the car, he answered.

"Busted up cooling system and needs a change of battery. Nothing I can't do alone."

John knew what Dean was trying to tell him. He wanted him gone, but that just wasn't going to happen.

"Dean who’s Castiel?"

Again Dean tensed up. He didn't want to talk about this, didn't want to think about the boy with periwinkle eyes... No, he needed to work on the car, but his father was relentless.

"Don't ignore me Dean, please. I just want to help."

Dean dropped his tools and faced his father.

"He's a friend dad, okay? A friend I fucked things up with who hates me and I deserve all of it, if not more."

"Dean. What...what are you talking about? Is this about the rape? Son it’s not yo-"

"Just stop Dad. It’s not....it’s not because...I was supposed to be his friend. I was supposed to be there to help him. And you know what I did? I left him!"

Dean was growing frustrated. He could feel the threat of tears wanting to escape. Rubbing at his eyes fiercely with one hand, Dean picked up one of the tools and threw it across the room with a violent clang. John, instead of backing away, grabbed a hold of Dean's forearms.

"Son! Calm down. You need to relax. Explain to me what happened."

"No."

"Dean don't fight me on this. I'm your dad and I need to be there for you. Let me help, please."

It was tearing John up to see his son look so defeated, so loss, so hopeless. He needed to get to the bottom of this, he needed to help him.

"Whatever is holding back from telling me anything, let it go. I won't get angry or upset or anything. I just want to help you."

Slowly, Dean began to relax. It wasn't always that his father was willing to listen to him, hear out what he had to say. He must look like crap for his dad to come to him like this. Finding no need to hide himself any longer, and really just needing the comfort of family, Dean explained everything to his dad.

"Cas was new when I met him a couple of months ago. I kinda ditched him the first day of school and I didn't know why, I just freaked. Well I made up to him and we sorta started talking. He kinda got beat up pretty bad and I helped him through it, even gave my number if he ever needed help. He did call for help once. Then we went out to hang out. I wanted to get to know him and all..."

Dean paused, unsure how his father would take the next words. John still held Dean by the forearms. He nodded encouragingly to get him to continue.

"While we hung out Cas had a mental breakdown a bit when his past was dredged up...all I could think when I saw him defenseless was that I needed to help him,needed to protect him. Things settled and when I dropped him off that night I....I kissed him...."

Another moment of pause, Dean steadies his breathing, looking down to the floor.

"Then I just left him, told him I regretted it, it didn't mean anything, and just left. The problem was, was that it was all I lie...I did mean it Dad....I kissed him because I wanted to...I...fuck...Dad I like Cas and that kiss proved it. Being my dumbass self I denied everything and didn't talk to Cas anymore...it wasn't until today, after talking to Sammy, that I came to my senses and was going to talk to him, tell him everything. But of course shit had to hit the fan. Damn it! Dad if I hadn't been an ass and been watching out for Cas none of this would have happened! Its my fault he was attacked!"

Dean felt the weight of everything he had been keeping at bay, all his emotions flooding his mind. He began to cry, tears running down his face as he clutched onto his father's shirt. John pulled his son in and cradled him as if he was still five years old. He soothed him, softly running circles on his son's back.

Neither man knew how long they stayed like that until things began to settle. John released his son little by little until his hand ghosted over Dean's arms.

John cleared his throat before speaking after the long expanse of silence.

"Talk to him. After all of this cooled down, after he has cooled down, talk to him. I know Cas doesn't blame you. What happened to him....it’s horrible, but it isn't your fault. It’s the sick bastard who did this to him. Cas...he's in a vulnerable state right now. We just need to give him space, okay? Everything will settle, son. Everything will work out, you just got to stay strong and keep your hopes up."

Dean nodded as he took in every word his father said. His father was never one to give advice, but here, here John Winchester had gone far and beyond. Before Dean knew what he was doing, he pulled his dad into a bone-crunching hug.

"Thanks Dad."

John could feel a tear slip down his face as he hugged his son back.

"That’s what I'm here for, son."

***

Monday morning came far too quickly for Dean. Over the weekend he had worked at the garage non-stop, only resting to do homework and eat. He didn't want to deal with himself when he had nothing to do but think. He would work himself out until he came home too exhausted to do anything but fall into a dreamless slumber.

Dressing for school was a slow process. Dean settled for sweats and a hoodie, not really caring for his appearance. He ate a quiet meal that morning, ceral and orange juice, before heading out with Sammy for school. Lucky for him, the drive was silent.

Dark clouds hung in the sky, casting a dark, somber look over the town. Pulling into the school parking lot, Dean could feel dread build up in him; Friday's events were still clear in his mind. Anger, sadness, and guilt came over him like waves. He felt like he was in hell.

Walking to the main entrance of the school, Dean could feel his body going into auto-pilot. Jessica was waiting there for Sam. She pulled Dean for a quick, reassuring hug, before leaving with Sam. Sam sent his brother a small smile as he left. Dean made his way to his locker. where he could see Ash and Jo waiting for him. Dean gave a small nod as a greeting. He gathered his things quickly and left to his firs period, leaving his friends behind. He wasn't ready to face them just yet.

Throughout the day whispers could be heard among the students. Everyone was talking about Castiel and the incident. Some people felt pity, not understanding why anyone would hurt the new kid. Others found that Cas deserved it just because he was gay. Dean dealt with listing to these rumors, unable to do anything but listen. It angered him that people who knew nothing about Cas would put the blame on him for what happened. If only they knew how much Cas had fought, if only they knew how much he had tried to just fit in. These people knew nothing. They could all think Cas was weak, but in reality, they were the weak ones, and Dean, he was the weakest.

By the end of the day Dean wished he could give up on everything. He wasn't sure he could handle another day of the shithole he called school, especially knowing what happened with Cas there. Instead of giving in to that need of failing, Dean decided to put his focus into his school work and his work at the garage. As the days passed, soon the whispers became a buzz in the back of his mind, work and school only occupying his thoughts. He kept to himself, hiding away in the library at snack and lunch, avoiding everyone. It was what he deserved anyways.

Lunch the following Monday was when Dean finally cracked. He had been getting food from the cafeteria when he had heard people talking quietly near him. From the voices he knew they were girls, girls he knew from class. It was Lilith and Meg Masters. The two were laughing about something. It was their laughter that drew Dean in. Curious as to why they laughed, Dean listened closely to what they said.

"He was asking for it," Lilith said with a snarky attitude.

"Of course he was! He's gay! He was probably the one who jumped Crowley," Meg said with disgust.

"I bet. We know Crowley swings both ways so it makes sense if he gave him what Castiel wanted."

"Exactly. Clarence was probably waiting out in the bathroom for Crowley."

"We both know Crowley likes some fun. And Meg don't give that fag a pet name."

Dean dropped his tray, food scattering all over the tile floor, the noise echoing through the room. Everyone grew silent as they all turned to look to Dean. His hands balled up into fists, his teeth clenched, his breath became heavy, and his eyes darkened. Dean looked to the two girls, raising an accusing finger at their direction as he slowly walked toward them.

"You people are pathetic! You know nothing about Castiel or what he's been through! You all think he deserves this because of his sexuality. So tell me this, if a girl dresses provocative, does that mean she deserves to get rapped too? Huh? No. No one deserves this, no one! Cas is a good person; he was the last person to deserve this to happen to. You two should shut your mouths and take a good look at yourselves because guess what girls? All I see is trash."

Giving a final glare to the two, Dean turned away and left the cafeteria. Adrenaline pumped through his body. It had felt great to finally stand up for Cas.

Cas.

It had been over a week since Dean last talked to Cas, over a week since Cas kicked him out of his life. He hadn't asked his friends or his family how Cas was doing. When school and work couldn't distract him, Dean would dwell on Cas and his well-being. He wondered how his recovery was coming along and if he would return to school anytime soon. As much as he wanted to ask Cas how he was, he knew he couldn't. He instead had been forcing himself to move on. Each day he tried his hardest to move on from the blue eyed boy that had taken up his mind.

Today had been too much, however. Even if Dean couldn't see him or talk to him, he could at least stand up for him.

Walking toward the library, the past five minutes ran through Dean's mind. He was pleased to have seen the girls shocked expressions. They deserved worse from what they had been talking about, though. Saying Cas deserved this from Crowley.

Crowley!

How could Dean be so stupid! Damn it, the girls had told him who had hurt Cas and he hadn't even realized it! Man he needed to pay attention more.

Dean was soon veering away from the library and heading to the boy's restroom.

Crowley was well known to Dean. He had him for fifth period English. The Brit had an attitude that annoyed the hell out of Dean. Every time he saw him he wished he could wipe his smirk off his face.

It was that asshole that had hurt Cas! It was that dick that Dean couldn't protect Cas from! Rage filled the green eyed boy as he finally entered the bathroom.

Everyday Dean would see Crowley come from the bathroom just before class started. With a few minutes to spare before the bell rang, Dean was sure he'd find Crowley here. He locked the door behind him and was soon banging on the three stalls.

"Crowley come out!"

The Brit came out from the last stall, a smug look on his face. He was dressed all in black. He looked Dean up and down and gave him a smirk.

"What can I do for you Darling?"

Dean looked to the boy, wishing he could rip his throat out. He ran to him, shoving him against the wall, his hands clenching his clothes tightly.

"It was you, wasn't it!"

"Don't know what you mean Darling."

"You hurt Cas, didn't you!"

Dean was seething with rage, which only made Crowley laugh. He was chuckling as he looked at Dean.

"Hurt? I don't know. He was begging for it if you ask me."

Enough was enough. Dean couldn't stand this guy. He couldn't stand the scum of a boy in his hands. He was a rapist and he has been the one that had taken everything from Cas. He needed to pay, he had to.

Before Dean knew it, he had Crowley on the floor and was repeatedly punching him in the face. Over and over again he hit that face, wanting to wipe off that smug look. His hands were soon covered in blood and Crowley's face soon become unrecognizable. Dean only stopped when he heard the crunch of bones. Looks like his nose was broken.

Dean wasn't done there, though. No this asshole deserved much more than this. He got up only to begin kicking at Crowley, his foot connecting with his ribs. Again and again and again his foot kicked and kicked. Only stopping when he heard other bones snap. Ribs wouldn’t be helping the lungs.

Stepping back, all Dean could see was the mangled body of someone. Crowley whimpered a bit, his breathing shallow. He looked disfigured, almost inhuman.

Dean eyed the boy for a long while. When the final bell rang he stepped forward to loom over Crowley's beaten body.

"If you ever, and I mean ever, touch Castiel, I'll kill you."

Giving that final word, Dean left. He made his way out if the school and got in him Impala to dive home.

***

Castiel was going over his calculus homework when Jessica barged into his room.

After yelling at Dean, Cas had quietly asked the others who had come to see him to please leave. The day's events had still been fresh in his mind. He hadn't been prepared to talk with others just yet. The rest of the weekends was the same. All Castiel did was eat, sleep, use the restroom, and think. It wasn't until Monday when he started feeling like himself.

Deciding he needed to face the outisde world, Cas invited his friends over. They were pleased to know Cas was improving. All four of them: Charlie, Balthazar, Anna, amd Gabriel filled Castiel in on what he had missed in school and how their weekends were spent. Charlie and Balthazar took it upon themselves to bring his homework to him everyday. Gabe and Anna made it their duty to simply come by and talk with Castiel everyday. It was a relief to see all of them everyday. It pushed him one step foward.

Jessica started to come check up on Cas everynight after visiting hours ended at the hospital. He would soon learn that she was an intern at the hospital and was looking over Cas just before she left to go home. He had known of her because of Sam. There was somthing between the two that he couldn't quite place, but he knew the two were more than friends. That first night she came he had grown alrarmed, sure that Sam had sent her on Dean's behalf. However, he ended up being very wrong.

All Jessica did with Cas was talk. It wasn't the same as it was with his friends. Charlie and Balthazar tended to have their conversations revolve around video games and tv shows. Anna and Gabriel had their conversations revolved around pranks and gossip. Jessica preferred to talk about her life and ask Cas of his. It brought something new and refreshing for Cas.

It was Jessics who opened up first, telling him how she grew up. She told him about her parents and how they had divorced when she was three years old. She told him about growing up in two different households, one being very strict and one being very free. She told him about how, growin up, she had grown a passion for helping people and wanting to make a difference. She told him of how she had made the final desicion to stop the moving back and forth and stick with her mother, the free bird. She finally told him of her move to Lawerence when her mother received a better paying job here. All in all, it had been fun to listen to everything Jessica spoke of. She was wonderful and very much worth spending time with.

Castiel had taken some time before he began to open up to Jessica. It was Wednesday when he began to tell her of his own strict up bringing and how him being gay had caused the fallling out with his family. He told her of the struggles he went through as a child, trying to be the perfect son, but holding the burden of his homosexuality. He told her of the first boy he kissed and how it had opened a whole new life for him. He also told her of how that had lead to his end at the other high school and his move to Lawerence on his own.

Not once did Jessica ever interrupt. She listened patiently and only nodded or shook her head when it was necessary. When Cas had finished telling his story, Jessica had only hugged him tightly, telling him 'everything would be okay'. Cas only felt relief, relief for finally being able to talk about his past with someone.

The rest of the week brought other new faces.Wednesday brought the Winchesters, minus Dean. They asked how he was and how his healing was going. Mary, Dean and Sam's mother, brought a homemade apple pie with her. Sam had brought a book along. John had silntly stood by, giving Cas a reasuring smile. They were good people and after they left he had felt a a small pang of yearning.

Dean's friends came Thursday afternoon. Jo, Benny, Ash, and Adam were nice people. They talked with Cas a bit, also asking how he was doing. They talked about random stuff and some pretty idiotic things. The boys fooled around like brothers and Jo acted as mediatior for them. They were fun people that Cas grew a small fondness for.

Everyone that came to see Cas helped him relax. He could feel the love and care that radiated off of them and that left him with pure joy. Sure he wasn't completely healed, but he was getting there.

Nights were his weak points. He would be sleepong when the nightmares would attack him. He would either find himself with his body pressed against Crowley or would find himself facing Dean with that disgusted look after kissing him. He hated them, both of them. He hated Crowley for stealing his body from him and hated Dean for allowing him to play with his feelings. He may had been stupid once, but no more. Those two would never mess with him again, never again. It was that thought that helped him through the nights.

Jessica was now coming through the door at just past 3 'o clock. Cas knew something was wrong. Not only did Jessics not visit him so ealry, but school had just been let out so she must have left early, again a rare odity. Castiel sat up quickly in his hospital bed, ready to hear what Jessica needed to say.

"Castiel..I know..."

Castiel gave Jessica a questionable look. She sounded so hurt, so broken. Slowly, he asked, "What do you mean?"

"Crowley....Castiel, Crowley was the one who hurt you, wasn't he?"

"I...uhhh.."

Castiel was dumbfounded. How could she know? He hadn't told anyone and from last speaking to Balthazar, he hadnt said a word either.

Sighing, Cas nodded a 'yes' as a response.

"Oh Castiel, I'm so sorry."

"Its fine Jessica..really, it is, but how do you know?"

"Dean..he...he found out....beat up Crowley pretty bad.

"He did what?"

"Yea...he wanted him to pay for what he did to you...they found Crowley in the restroom unconcious."

Castiel was again stunned. Dean had wanted Crowley to pay. He...he wanted him to pay for what he had done. It sent Cas' mind in a jumble of unanswered questions. Why would Dean do this? What was he hoping to gain?

"Is...where is Crowley now?"

"In this hospital. They brought him here after finding him. He's down stairs being treated. He'll make a full recovery."

Cacti nodded, understanding. And Dean? What had happened to Dean?

"What did they do with Dean?"

Jessica looked away. He could see her shoulders shake and knew she was crying. It took a few moments before she could compose herself to talk.

"Dean was arrested."


	9. Only Things Get Worse

It had been like a scene from a movie. Dean had been driving down the road, Led Zepplin's 'Black Dog' playing in the background. The roads were all clear and it was just Dean and his Baby. Pressing down on the gas pedal, Dean sped on through, enjoying the feel of the wind as it rushed through the windows. He sang from he top of his lungs, his voice carrying on out onto the streets. It was freedom.

And then all of it came to a hault. Sirens could be heard from behind. From the rearbview mirror blue and red lights clustered into a huge mass as they sped up to catch up to him. To the right of him he could hear someone speaking through a blow horn instructing him to pull over. A helicoptor soon sounded from above. With confusion and fright, Dean manueverd the Impala to the side of the road.

He had only just stepped out of the car when several police officers threw him against his car forcing his hands behind him. Handcuffs were soon placed on him and he was being thrown into the back of a cop car. All the while Dean was stunned silent, a robot doing what he wa being told to do.

What had he done? Sure he had been speeding, but five cop cars and a chopper to stop him? And a simple ticket would have been fine, but arrestment? Really?

Leaning foward in his seat, Dean spoke with a bit of annoyance, "Hey, buddies, I know speeding is against the law, but I'm pretry sure I don't need this many cop cars are these damn handcuffs."

The officers simply gave him a glare through the rear view mirror before continuing the drive. Finding he wouldn't get an answer anytime soon, he leaned back against his seat and waited.

What the hell had he done now?

***

"Aressted! Why? That...where is ge being held?"

Castiel was quickly getting up from his spot on the hosptial bed and was soon making a move to put clothes on. Dean was arrested, and for what? Protecting Cas, seeking retribution for what he had done? No, he couldn't have this. As much as Castiel wished to never see Dean again, he wasn't going to let him go to jail for doing something he found he needed to do for forgivness.

Jessica came closer to class and laid a hand on his shoulder stopping his frantic moving. Her eyes held tears. She pulled him into a hug, hidding her face between his shoulder and neck. Quite sobs raked through her body. Stunned only momentairly, Cas soon began to wrap his own arms around Jess, soothingly running his hand up and down her back.

The two stayed like that for a while until Jessica remembered what she had to tell Cas. Pulling away, she spoke softly, "He's being charged with assaulting Crowley and...and...and for raping you..."

He had heard wrong. That had to be it. Dean was not being charged for rapping him. No! It...it wasn't him! This was some kind of sick joke. Looking at Jessica, however, he knew it was no joke. Dean was being charged with his rape.

Not even caring if he was allowed or not, Castiel pulled on his jeans, tore of his gown, and tugged on his t shirt. He pulled on shoes and headed out the door. Jess, instead of insisting he stay, went ahead of him and pulled him along. Maybe sneaking out of a hospital without being discharged could cost an internship, but the blonde seemed determined to get Cas out.

They snuck passed the nurse's station and were soon making it to the elevator when his name was heard being called from the other side of the corridor. To his amazment, there stood his friends Charlie, Balthazar, Gabe and Anna and also Dean's friends Ash, Jo, Benny and Adam.

All of them rushed toward him and Jess. Jessica seemed relieved to see them all, Cas was just confused.

Asking, with his head cocked to the side, "What are all of you doing here?"

Adam was the one to step foward and expalin to Cas of their apperance.

"Dean is in the county jail and is being charged with your rape, as well as other things. We came do find you...tell them their wrong because they are, right...?"

The group looked to Cas, all scared, all worried, all hoping to God it was a mistake. The last words he spoke to Dean rang in Cas' ear.

“Get out Dean! This is all your fault! AL OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT ! Get out! I never want to see you again!"

What had he done...those words...they must have....oh no...

Not answering Adam, Cas rushed past the crowd of people and made it into the elevator just as it was about to close. He didn't mean to leave his friends, but he needed to get to the station without everyone questioning him. He just wanted to set Dean free and come back to the hospital and put all this behind him.

Getting out of the elevator, Cas made a run to get out amd hailed the first taxi he saw.

***

These people were insane. Seriously, they had to be messing with him or something. This just wasn't happening. No, no no no. This was just some huge mistake that would resolve itself. He wouldne believe anything amd he sure as hell wasn't gonna say anything.

"Don't make me ask again, did you sexually assault Castiel Novak on the 15th, Friday afternoon?"

Dean was being held in an interrogation room. He hadn't found out until he got to the station that he was being charged with, not only with a physical assualt of a minor, but also sexual assault. He hadn't been able to respond, too suprised to really react to it all. It was as he had been directed to the interrogation room that he had been able to do anything.

He had begun with stating everything was a misunderstanding that Crowley was the guy. Of course they had ignored him and begun questioning him. What was the worst thing, though, was that they had a statment from a nurse stating that she heard Cas fault him Friday night when he had made it to his room.

If only the cops knew what he was really at fault with. After that piece of evidence, Dean had simply denied talking. Henrikson, the officer in charge, had been at Dean for a few hours now and he wasn't getting anything.

"Fine, you don't want to talk about this, okay then. Why don't you tell me about yourself?"

"Nothing to tell, just that I'm some fine piece of ass, " Dean said with a smirk, realizing a little too late that that was the wrong thing to say when being charged with rape.

Henrikson only eyed the teen with anger and damn if looks could kill.

"You think you're funny?"

"I think I'm adorble."

Again a grin spread on Dean's lips. Henrikson only threw his file to the table. He eyed Dean one last time before leaving. Dean took the opportunity to lean back in his chair and rest. He was going to be here for a while, might as well grow comfy.

None of this made sense, though. Okay so beating up Crowley, that he can understand getting arrested for. The Cas thing though, that just didn't happen. Knowing that the police assumed this just made him feel sick. He had hurt Cas, but not like that, never like that.

Dean sat there, thinking, worrying, and finally just allowing defeat. This was probably what he deserved for running out on Cas.

Henrikson came back in, still that grim look on his face.

"Y'know I bet you're a smart kid, heck I'm sure of it. Look you're 18 which means you're gonna be charged as an adult, and Mom and Dad can't help now. If I were you I'd just fess up, don't need to have Cas suffer more."

Dean snapped. This guy knew nothing. All he knew were lies. He had no idea what Dean had gone through with Cas, or more importantly, what Cas had gone through. He threw his chair back and stood up.

"You think you're so smart, but you know nothing! You have no fucking idea what happened to Cas!"

The cop just eyed Dean, looking pleased to have gotten a reaction out of him.

"If you really want to help Cas, Dean, then just confess and we can make sure Cas is safe. Won't even have to re-tell his story at trial. He can go on like this never happened."

Looking up at Henrikson, Dean could see an easy answer. He may not have done anything, but if Cas could just forget this, not go to trial, move on, then just maybe...mybe it was worth it. He would protect Cas. Castiel wouldn't have to face a trial or Crowley ever again. Dean just had to say 'yes.'

Taking a steadying breath, Dean nodded.

"Okay. I, Dean Winchester, confess to th-"

Before Dean could finish the sentence, someone barged into the room, halting his words from being spoken.

"Don't you dare do this Dean!"

Dean was sure he was dead. There, running in to his resuce, was Cas in the flesh. Henrikson looked shocked, and a bit annoyed. Castiel was only staring at Dean, stepping toward him. His eyes were red, looking ready to cry, and his wole body shook a bit.

Stepping foward to meet with Cas, Dean asked, "What are you doing here Cas?"

"I heard what happened. I couldn't...I couldn't let you be charged for something you didn't do."

Castiel looked so pained, so hurt. It made Dean want to pull him in and just hold him and tell him everything would be alright. Instead, he just looked away, forcing himself to keep it together.

"I messed up Cas, messed uo so bad. This is was I deserve....and doing this...I'll...you'll be protected."

"Dean shut up, damn it! You will not take the charge for raping me! You didn't do it, okay! Crowley did, not you so stop trying to be the hero and shut your mouth."

Cas was shaking with anger as he spoke his words, shuddering on the last part as he remembered what happened to him. Henrikson didn't bother staying in the room. Giving a quick apologetic to Dean, he was gone. Dean could only hope he was going after Crowley now.

Dean and Cas stood there, a few feet away, just staring at each other.

"Cas I'm so so-"

"Don't bother Dean. I know what you're going to say...and I forgive you."

Dean's face lit up like the Fourth of July. This was more than he could wish for. Cas forgived him, he really forgived him. Unable to hold in his happiness, Dean walked to close the gap and went in for a hug. Instead of Cas returning the hug, he stopped Dean and stepped back.

"Just because I forgive you doesn't mean...doesn't mean we're okay. Not after everything that happened between us. I think its best if...if we go our seperate ways now."

And like that, Dean's happiness was gone. He put his arms down and looked to the floor. He nodded an 'okay'. Finding nothing more to say, Cas gave a nod of 'goodbye' and left.

All too soon, Dean's parents and friends came rushing in, asking him if he was okay and if things were solved and if he could go home. Dean didn't bother responding. He pushed past the group and exited the room. Taking the nearest exit of the station, Dean walked out.


	10. Facing Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is short! And glad to see people enjoying the story! Lastly, I believe this story will have 2-3 chapters left!

One month. It had been one month since Cas had come to the police station to save Dean from being charged for sexual assault. One month since the two last spoke. One month since Cas told Dean he never wanted to see hin again.

Dean had gone home that night making his way straight to his parents liquior cabinet and drank all the whiskey they had before going to sleep. He slept restlessly, a nightmare taking over his sleep. It would only stop when he awoke to vomit into the waste bin next to him.

For someone who made mistakes, he had fucked up horribly. Not only had he lost a friend, but he had lost someone he cared about. Nothing he could do would possibly fix it. In a sad sense, he probably deserved it. Served him right for turning his back on someone who needed him the most. He had dug his grave, now he had to lay in it.

Returning to school was one of the most difficult obsticles. Dean had been ignoring his friends unable to talk with anyone. His parents had allowed him to wallow, assuming it would go away. His friends had called, but after some point stopped, knowing Dean wanted to be alone. However, after skipping three school days, Dean had to return. He needed to graduate and he wasn't going to mess up right when it was about to end.

His days passed not so differently than before. Dean would focus in his classes and at snack and lunch head to the library. After school was working at the grage and finishing off homework. Several attempts were made by his frinds to talk with him, but he had simply shoved them away. He didn't want their pity or /word of advice./ He just wanted to be left alone to do his work.

Things began to go well, somewhat. Dean would manage each day, going through it smoothly. At points he felt like giving up and crumbling into the abyss off darkness, just letting his emotions take over. However, he knew he couldn't do that, he couldn't burden his family. So Dean sucked it up. Alchol became his new best friend and soon enough it became easy enough to pass each day.

And then Castiel returned.

It had been two weeks since he had last spoken to Cas at the station. Seeing him, at school, livid and happy, brought Dean some happiness. Then he remembered that Cas didn't want to see him ever again. It had felt like someone had ripped his heat out, but again Dean handled it with some whiskey. Even if he could only watch from a distance, only notice Cas from the corner of his eye, it was all somewhat worth it.

He couldn't deny how happy he looked. Seeing him with his friends, laughing and craking a joke, it was well worth it. He was doing better and that was what counted the most.

At the one month mark, though, things would just be too much.

It was a Thursday afternoon and Dean had just finished some work on a '68 Fastback Ford Mustang. He was closing up shop when he saw a couple walking. At first they hadn't looked recognizable. All Dean could make out clearly was that they were both men.

Dean had simply smiled and looked away, giving the boys privacy. Not a minute later he could hear them tking and from their voices Dean knew who they were.

Turning around he saw that Cas and Balthazar were walking together, their bodies huddled toward each other. Dean could only feel himself getting sick. Maybe the two were just friends hanging out, yea nothing more.

Looking up once more, Dean saw Balthazar lean in and kiss Cas, right on the lips.

Now he knew he was going to be sick. Putting the final lock, Dean kept his head down and ran toward the Impala. He slammed the door and turned the ignition on quickly before getting the hell out of there. He didn't care if they had seen him. None of it mattered. He just needed to get home or somewhere where he could be alone.

Dean drove out of the town and kept driving until he was 45 minutes out of the city limits. He found himself surrounded by corn fields. It was secluded and just what he needed. He took out the hidden whiskey bottle from under his seat and began drinking it.

***

Castiel returned to the hospital after speaking with Dean at the police station. Laying back on the hospital bed he had begun to cry. Out of anybody, he had to be handed this life; a life full of pain, sadness, heartache, and physical trama. What had he done to deserve it, any of it? It wasn't fair! It wasn't!

Afterwards, when the situation with Dean being wrongly accused and Crowley being charged, things settled. Castiel's friends still came by everyday, as well as Dean's friends who had grown to be his friends, and Jessica still came by every night. Mary Winchester was the only Winchester who stopped by to see him. She was lovely company that made him believe he had a caring mother for at least an hour a day.

When Castiel was finally released from the hospital his friends celebrated by taking him out to eat. It was the first time in a very long time that Cas finally felt accepted and loved for. It was a feeling he hoped to never forget.

Going back to school was something that had taken him all his will power to do. At first he had denied going back, his only reason being not wanting to see Dean. However, he had missed enough school and if he wanted to keep his 4.0 GPA he had to go back. Seeing his friends would be a perk as well.

With that mindset, Cas packed his bag for school and set out. To his relief, he didn't see Dean. Each day Cas went to school not once did he see Dean. Instead all Cas saw were the people he'd seen at the hospital, the nice,familar faces. Each day bought him joy because knowing he had friends that cared for him was worth it. He smiled more, laughed more, and just let loose. It was a rivigorating change.

It was Thursday afternoon when he and Balthazar took their routine walk around the neighboorhood. The two had been hanging out with each other more and had grown close. Balthazar had become someone that Cas could talk to about thing he couldn't talk about with others. Jess had been there before, but now with him gone from the hospital and her being busy with her internship, Balthazar had taken that position.

Castiel had been laughing at a joke Balthazar had said, his british accent and witty behavior always adding to the hilarity, when Balthazar had swooped in and kissed him. It had been a chaste kiss, but a kiss nonetheless. For a moment Cas had been left dumbfounded, but soon enough he reacted. Gently, he pushed Balthazar away, stepping back himself to have a safe distance. Before he could say anything, the slam of a door could be heard. Looking up Cas saw none other than Dean Winchester.

The boy was struggling to start his car before turning it on and speeding away. Cas was left staring after the Impala's headlights. Why had Dean run off like that? And his eyes....he had been sure he had seen them filled with wetness...tears...what had happened?

Unable to focus on those questions just yet, Castiel turned to look at Balthazar.

"Balthazar why did you kiss me?"

"I'm sorry Cassie...I....I've been wanting to do that for a while now..."

"What do you mean Balth?"

"I'm not that oblivious Cassie. You can't tell me you don't realize it?"

"Balthazar you're confusing me. Just tell me please."

Balthazar looked down embarassed a bit. He couldn't look Castiel directly in the eye just yet. He stared off to the side, considering what he'd say before letting it all out.

"Since day one I've liked you Castiel. I thought you'd have noticed by now."

Castiel couldn't help the stunned look on his face. He took a small step foward, moving himself to have him directly in Balthazar's view.

"I'm sorry if it seemed I led you on or if I looked to be having the same feelings. You are one of my bestest friends that I can trust completely. I wish things were different..."

"Its okay Cassie...I know I cant really compete with Dean."

"Dean?"

"Yes, Dean. Just because you say you never want to see him I knew you fell for him."

"I did no-"

"Its okay Cassie. I know you're forcing yourself to think you're not, but you do still care for him and like him. You just don't want to get hurt again."

Castiel couldn't answer. He put his head down, angered.

"You're right...but that means nothing. Dean will never be part of my life. He hurts people, uses them up, throws them to the curb, and then thinks a simple sorry will fix things. That may work for others, but not for me. Not again. I'm moving on. Dean will never be a part of my life again."

With a final huff, Cas stalked off. He didn't need this, not when he was getting better. He walked home, entraping himself in his room as he drew.

***

Coming home that night, Dean was given an ultimatium. He had drunken the whole bottle of whiskey and driven home drunk. Stumbling through the front door his parents greeted him with a stern look.

John was the one to step foward and question Dean.

"Where have you been Son?"

"Out."

"Why do you reek of whiskey?"

"Maybe 'cause I drank it."

"Dean...are you drunk?"

"'Course I am. Sorry to dissapoint. Guess I do a crap job at being a son."

"What are you talking about? Dean what's gotten into you?" 

Dean looked up to his father and started for a moment before giving a bitter laugh. "What's wrong with me? Oh I don't know, maybe just figured out I'm a fucking asshole who can't do anything and I dissapoint everyone." 

Not wanting to face his father anymore, Dean walked by him, only to be stopped by his mother. 

"Dean, honey, don't you dare run off. Tell us what's wrong, please." Mary lifted her son's face up, cupping his cheeks. A single tear fell down her face. Dean could feel the alchol wearing off and was soon closing his arms around his mom. 

"I'm sorry Mom..its just...I messed up...with Cas...and now he won't see me..and...and....fuck Mom he's with someone else and I just can't take it." 

Mary held her son as he cried, she gently rrubbed his back and shushed him as he slowly calmed down. John stepped foward and wrapped his arms around both his wife and eldest son. 

"Don't worry Dean, we'll fix this... Everything will get better, I promise you son." 

Dean nodded at his dad's words. He hoped it was true. 

***

The next afternoon found Dean at the hospital. After his break down with his parents, his parents had told him the drinking had to stop. He knew it was about time. He had agreed and was soon sent to bed. Mary had came in in the middle of the night and sang "Hey Jude" as her son slept, hopeful things would soon start turning around. 

Dean knew that he had to do something instead of wallowing in his sadness. He wanted Cas, that much was clear. What he had to prove to Cas was that he was worth it....yep not an easy task. It was as he was getting ready for school that he knew who he needed to talk to; Jessica. 

It was the week Dean had been arrested for Cas' rape when the eldest Winchester brother found out that Jessica had been watching over Cas just before going home from working on her internship. Knowing that, Dean had forced himself to stay away from Jessica, not wanting to risk asking her about Castiel. Now, however, he needed that. If he planned on winning Cas back, he needed help and he had a sure feeling Jessica would be the one to help. 

Walking into the hospital, Dean made his way to the nurse's station. Quietly, he asked to speak to Jessica Moore. It took a few minutes before she came into view. She was shocked to see Dean, but had a smile on her face. Jess was probably the first friend Dean had spoken to in weeks. He walked up to her, gathered her in his arms, and hugged her tightly. 

"Hey Jess."

"Hey there Mr. Hot Shot. What brings you here?"

"I wanted to ask you about...something." 

Looking at Dean confused and somewhat curious, Jess nodded. She led them to the cafateria and sat at a lone table. 

"What's this about Dean?" 

"I know...I know you and Cas talked a lot when he was staying here." 

"Yes, we did."

Dean had been looking down at the table since they sat down. He lifted his head now to look at Jess directly. He held his breath a moment befire finally asking the big question, "Can you help me win him back?"

Jessica's eyes widned before her face shown with a smirk. 

"Its about time Winchester."


	11. Bad Memories

Friday morning found Castiel in day old clothes slumped over his work desk, pencil smeared across his cheek. Blinking blearly, Cas streatched out his limbs, feeling the uncomfortsbleness and soreness from sleeping at his desk chair all night. His drawing was a mess, pencil spread out from his face rubbing against it. Sighing, Cas got up and made his way to the bathroom.

The previous day's events came into full focus as Cas splashed water onto his face, waking himself up. He didn't want to think about Balthazar and his out spoken feelings for him and he did not want to think about Dean and how he had yet to get over the green eyed dick. All in all, Cas simply didn't want to think, he just wanted rest and have a clear mind, not like that was actually going to happen. No Cas was only left to think about all the crap that surrounded his life.

With an impending headache making it's way into his mind, Cas opted out for school. It was Friday and fairly close to exam week which meant all he would be missing was reviews, something he could do on his own. Giving a last glance to the mirror, Cas padded his way to the kitchen to distract himself with food. If anything else could distrsct him it would probably be cooking.

The morning passed by quietly. Cas busied himself making an omlet with oatmeal. He put his full attention to the egg he coacked and the vegtables he diced for the omlet. He then set his mind to preparing his oatmeal to the perfect apple cinnomon taste the prepakaged bags could never achieve. Instead of coffee Cas made himself tea. With breakfast done, he settled himself at his mini dinner table and read over the notes for his classes. He did say he could make up the reviews, which is what he planned to do that morning. All through it, Cas went through his AP class notes and his art notes (not that there was much there) until finding himself done by mid afternoon.

With nothing else to do for the day, and not feeling to hungry yet, Cas decided to go for a run. Sure he could stay and take a nap, but Cas had a bad feeling he'd only be left to his thoughts. Pulling on his running shorts, t shirt, and running shoes, Cas was out the door and hitting the pavement at a slow jog ash he began his round toward the park. The park was peaceful and with it empty in the afternoons, Castiel was glad to have the quiet to himself. Trees protected him from the glare of the sun and the bird chirpping was his own running soundtrack. He ran a few miles into the park until growing tired and deciding to return. His body moved him, not his mind. He soon found himself outside his apartment complex, well spent and ready for a late lunch, ealry dinner.

He made his way up the staires and was walking down the hall to unlock his apartment door when he noticed three men he never thought he'd see again.

"Michael, Lucifer, Gabriel, what are you doing here?"

***

Castiel sat in a chair as his brothers sat all together on the small couch in his living room. The room was silent, neither brother wanting to start the conversation. Cas sat stoicly still, wondering what could ever bring his brothers here. There was a reason he left his family behind.

Gabriel was the one to speak first, trying ro be quirrky and funny. "So Cassie how's it being a lone wolf?"

Castiel looked up the youngest of his older brothers and scowled, "Better than living with you, all of you."

Michael and Lucifer exchanged an angry glare and Gabriel only looked hurt.

Sighing, Cas continued to talk, "Why are you all here since I know none of you wish to associate yourselves with me."

Lucifer spoke up then, a stone look on his face. "We heard of the situation with you and a young man named Crowley."

Michael piped up then," We heard that he sexually assaulted you and you pressed charges against him. "

Both his eldest brothers looked to be blaming Castiel for what happened. He had seen it happen when he first came out as being a homosexual, he could see it played out once more, after being raped. It stung, but more than aything it left him with hate he never knew he could have. It was Gabe who spoke once more, showing true concern.

"Cassie we haven't heard from you in a year and we were worried....Dad wa-"

"Don't you dare mention Father to me Gabriel. We both know he wouldn't care what happened. Don't forget he made me leave."

"Made you? Castiel we both know it was you who left," Michael said in a stern tone.

Castiel could only stare at his brother in disbelief. He could see it on their faces then. Michael and Lucifer could care less about what happened to him. All they wished to do was tell him how he was trash, that because he was gay he deserved this, had probably wanted this. Gabriel looked to be the only one who showed any worry for him, but one brother amongst the three was not enough. He had finally created himself some peace in Kansas and he wasn't going to allow his brothers to ruin it.

Getting up abruptly, he looked to his brothers, eyes full of destain. Speaking in a calm, even, demanding voice, he said, "Get out. Now."

All three bothers looked to Castiel shocked. It may have been the very first time Cas had ever stood up to his brothers and make a command. It was refreshing, but also a bit terrifying. Michael and Lucifer looked ready to attack him, to leave him crumpled on the floor of his apartment. Its not like they hadn't done it before. However, Gabe was the one who stood up and gently approched Cas.

"We'll leave Castiel, promise. We did come to see if you were alright," Gabriel looked down then, wetting his lips nervously. As he looked back up he had a sad look in his eyes. "Dad isn't feeling to well...he's in a hospital...they say he's got pancreatic cancer...he's got a month left to live Cassie.."

As the last words leave Gabriel's throat he looks up to see his brother shake and see him force his eyes shut, holding back tears. Castiel tilted his head to take a better look at his other brothers. They still had a stoic look but Castiel could see a crack, a flash of pain cross their faces. Their Father was truely ill, dying, and they had come to tell him.

He turned his back to them, wrapping his arms around himself, protecting himself, holding himself together. He shut his eyey tightly, holding in his own pain. Taking a shuddering breath he turned back to his brothers.

"Why come tell me? The man wished for me to never return....Why come when you could have called?"

Michael looked to Cas and snapped as he responded, " He is dying and wished to see you before he died as shocking as that may seem. We told him you wouln't care and we see that you don't."

Castiel would not be talked down, especially about this. He stepped up to his eldest brother, a menacing glare directed at him.

"You know nothing Michael. I left because Father wished it. He preferred to have our name clean then deal with his gay son who had fallen for a straight boy. He would prefer hs gay son be beat up, close to death, by said straight boy than stand up for his son. He prefered I leave! He wanted nothing to do with me because he couldn't stand to know I was gay! I was like a disease for what I was born with! Why would I ever believe he wished to see me when he sent me packing to fend for myself!"

Michael only stared down at Cas as he seethed with rage. His breathing had become ragged and he had allowed a few tears to slip down. Feeling somewhat calmed a bit after his outburst, he stepped away.

"I will return home soon...not now, and not with any of you. Winter break begins in a week, I will return once it begins."

Giving a final look to his brothers, he turned his back on them and made his way to his room, knowing they would leave. Sure enough, as he sat himself on his bed, he heard the door click, signaling their dissaperance. Castiel was left alone to his buried memories and buried pain, forced to relive through it all once more.

***

Dean spent the rest of the afternoon talking with Jessica. When he had first sat down and confessed what he needed help with, he was sure Jessica would ask questions or tell him to back off of Cas. Instead he was met with a smirk and a happy smile to know this had finally happened. Had he been so obvious about his feelings for Cas? And more importantly, did Cas still hold feelings for him?

Jessica had been kind, but also a bit demanding, something he could enjoy.

"So Winchester, before we go on with this, I need to know why you want Castiel back. I love you Deacn, but I also love Cas. He's been through hell, I just want to make sure your intentions are well."

Dean nodded as he felt his heart tighten. He knew Cas had a a crap life, but to hear if from someone who knew just exactly what he had gone through hurt the most.

Sighing heavily, he said, " Jess I care about him, a lot. I want to be there for him, protect him, hold him, be the one to bring a smile to his face. I just want him to be happy...and I know I can bring that to him...and I...I like him a lot."

Dean caught himself before he spoke those words he had been thinking. That four letter word that had his heart fluttering and his breath speed. The four letter word that he knew once spoken would put everything to full focus and terrify him. Jessica looked to Dean, a soft smile on her face.

"Good to hear Dean. I'll help you. God knows Cas won't do it."

Dean let out a smile that reached ear to ear, his teeth sparkling, his green eyes holding a twinkle. "You're gonna help me?"

" Of course I am Dean. Cas won't admit it, but he does still care for you and hold feelings for you...you just-"

"Yea, I know." Dean knew how much he'd screwed up, Jessica didn't need to remind him. She gave him a sympathetic nod.

"So where are we gonna start?"

Jess had a mischivious glint in her eye, a plan forming in her eyes. "If you're really serious about this then you have to promise me you don't care who knows about this Dean."

Dean took a moment to process what Jess said, realizing what he had to do. It scared him. To go out and tell everyone that he, Dean Winchester the lady man, was gay....yea scary. But this was Cas, all of this was Cas, it was worth it.

"I'm in."

Jessica grinned once more, her hands clasping together happily.

"Great. Now tell me what kind of pipes you have and if you're any good with a guitar? Also, think you can get posters made and put around school? And lastly, how's the money going for you?"

Dean could only stare at Jess bewildered. The girl must have had this planned long before Dean decided what he wanted. A smirk slowly grew on his face. He had no idea what Jessica planned to do, but he was more than willing to do as she told. Sam was a lucky kid to have Jess, he knew the blonde would get him Cas back.

***

Castiel found himself alone that weekend, keeping himself locked up in his apartment to study. He only left in order to work his shifts at the diner. His studious behavior kept him distracted from the news if his Father and his siblings unexpected appereance.

He had been so sure that no one find him. Lawerencen Kansas was the last place his family would think to find him. They were certain he had gone to California, he had made it seem like that was his dream destination. Now though, now they knew? And why? Because of Crowley. Again, another disadvantage in his life.

All Cas had been trying to do is rid himself of his past, rid himself of Crowley, and rid himself of Dean. Instead, now he is faced with the life he left behind because of Crowley and what he'd done to him. His only happiness was knowing Dean had left his life. That was something he could be grateful for.

Sunday night found him preparing for school the next day with the impending final exams of the semester. He was finishing off his review for AP Calcus when his phone vibrated, signaling a text. Taking his phone out he found that whomever had texted him was someone he didn't have saved to his phone. Unlocking his phone, he read the message.

Castiel its Gabe. Dad is getting worse, more worse than we thought. Doc's aren't sure how much longer he has. I know you have exams. Please take the first flight out the afternoon your classes end. Thanks Cassie.

Castiel felt his heart clench. His father was getting worse. Tears pricked his eyes as he locked his phone, unable to respond. Seemed like Castiel would be leaving Thursday afternoon, he couldn't voice his anger. He would have to shove it all doen because as much as it pained him, he needed to see his father one last time, he didn't want to live with regrets.

Finding no need to study further that night, Castiel packed his books up and set himself off to bed. He changed into his pajamas and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. As he finished teeth washing and looked himself in the mirror. He could see the heavy bags under his eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept in ages, in one weekened his happiness, all he had been able to put behind him, had crashed. He looked like he was the boy he had been months ago when he first came: defeated, wreaked, and ruined.

Sighing, he turned the light off in the bathroom and returned to his room. Checking his phone to make sure his alarm was on, Cas noticed he had received another text. It was from Jessica.

Stay after school tomorrow Cas. No matter what happens during the day. Just trust me.

Castiel looked at themessage questionably, cocking his head to the side. What could Jessica need him for and why all the seceracy? Not that Cas was going to complain, he missed Jessica and he was up for any distraction she could offer. Smiling to himself, he responded.

I'm worried of what you have planned, but I promise you, I'll stay.

Settling onto his bed, Cas felt a small smile still on his face as sleeep over took him.


	12. Come to Me

Dean had less than 24 hours to complete everything necessary to win Cas back. He was panicking. How could he finish everything and have it perfect enough? It was impossible! It was leaving Dean with doubts, questioning himself if this idea would be worth it.

When Dean had first heard Jess' idea he had been a little worried and very much terrified. He was putting all his emotions, all his feelings, out there with this plan. Dean was not one to share feelings, and he knew how that had turned out, but he just wasn't great with words and the fear of rejection always loomed over his head. He wanted Cas though, and he didn't want to be the one who kept hurting him. He wanted Cas to see him as the one person he could lean on and if revealing his feelings was what it took, so be it. In a week's time the plan would be at it's perfection, everything set and ready. However, Dean hadn't anticipated for Jess' deadline: tomorrow morning.

Now Dean sat in the hospital cafeteria looking at Jessica dumbfounded.

"Jess don't get me wrong here, but you're insane if you think I can finish this and have it perfect for Cas by tomorrow morning. "

Jess only smirked at the older Winchester. "I think you underestimate me just a tad too much, Dean."

"No, I just don't see how this can be done to perfection by tomorrow morning. I'm only one person Jess, I can't do it."

"And that's where you're wrong Winchester." Jessica leaned over, taking a hold of Dean's hands and clasping them. "Its in your eyes, Dean. What you feel for Cas, its real. You can do this, and deep down you know you can because in the end all of this, is for Cas."

That was right. All of this, all this craziness and insanity was for Cas. He could do this, he would, but by tomorrow? Was that even possible?

"I want this perfect for Cas, Jess. I don't want it to be some crap job. He deserves better than that."

"Dean if you think I'd let you do a crap job for Cas, you're crazy."

"Then how do you figure I'll have this all done and ready by tomorrow morning without it being a crap job? Like I said, I'm only one person."

Jessica only smiled brightly, having Dean question her insanity once more in his mind.

"That's where you're wrong Winchester. I know some people who would love to help."

 

Dean gave Jess a questioning look. There was hardly anyone he knew who would be willing to help. He had long since lost contact with his friends, pretty much kicking them to the curb. Sammy was never around either, not that Dean tried to find time with him anyways. The thought that others, as in more than one, wanted to help was leaving Dean unsure.

Before Dean could further ponder who would want to help, Jessica turned to look to the entrance of the cafeteria. His curiosity piqued, Dean looked over to see as well. What he saw left him speechless. Coming through the doors were none other than his group; Jo, Ash, Benny, and Adam. They came in with bright smiles, looking to Dean with a knowing look. Dean couldn’t help the smile that began to rise to his face. He looked to Jessica who had turned to face Dean once more, smiling as well.

His friends wanted to help. Even though Dean had been a dick to them and kicked them out of his life, secluding himself in the library, his friends had still been here by his side. And now, after not talking to them for so long and leaving them in the dark, they were still coming through. He would never had considered the possibility. It was leaving him with red rimmed eyes, trying to hold back the tears.

As Dean was getting up to rush over to his friend, the corner of his eye caught a hint of something. Looking to his left he could see other people coming in from another entrance of the cafeteria. Dean was left just staring because these were definitely not people he would have considered helping him. They were Cas’ friends; Charlie, Samandrial, Anna and Balthazar. The last of the four left Dean sour. Balthazar, the one who had kissed Cas, who was probably kissing Cas all the time, who was probably taking him from Dean ( not that Cas was Dean’s but still!). Before any rationale could enter Dean’s mind, he was up and walking toward Balthazar, hands fisted.

Dean looked to Balthazar with anger in his eyes, his voice harsh, “What are you doing here?”

Balthazar only looked to Dean with a smirk, winking at the Winchester, he spoke, “Why must I explain to you my presence here. Last time I checked, this was a public cafeteria." 

Dean could only growl at the boy, wishing to punch him right there. Instead he held back his anger. “Leave. Now.’

“And why should I listen to you?”

“Because a minute longer you’re here I’m being pushed to the edge. Once I reach that edge there is nothing holding me back from hitting you.”

The blonde British looked to Dean a bit shocked by the venom in his voice. The others around the two stood silent, unsure of what would happen and whether interfering now would be a good idea.

“You leave now, Balthazar.”

“Winchester I’m here to help, as much as that is hard to believe, so whatever’s got your panties in a bunch, drop it.”

“Do you think this is funny? You don’t think I know why you’re really here? If you know why these people are here than you know what I plan to do. If you’re here its only because you’re gonna try to ruin it.”

“And why would I do that, Dean?”

Dean was reaching his limit and his friends could see that. Cas’ friends still stood a little back, still unsure of what to do. Benny and Ash neared Dean, both lightly patting his back to calm him down.

“Are you really fucking asking me that?”

“Yes, I am.”

“You want to know why I’m asking that? Maybe it’s because I saw you kissing him! You were kissing him!”

The image ran through Dean’s mind once more. The laughing and talking, the huddling, and then the kiss. He turned away from Balthazar, once again feeling like he had that day, lonely and lost. He walked away from Balthazar then.

“Just…please go.”

 Dean continued to walk, needing some air, however he didn’t make it far. From behind he could here Cas’ friends yelling at Balthazar, Anna and Charlie beign the loudest.

Anna was the first to yell, “What the hell is wrong with you Balth!”

“You know Cas likes Dean, why would you kiss him!” Charlie yelled after.

Anna slapped Balthazar as she spoke her last words, “We understand you liked him, but kissing him! How do you think he felt after!”

Balthazar didn’t respond, instead taking everything. Once the girls had calmed down, he took a deep breath and began walking to Dean who had stayed standing, his back to everyone else. Reaching Dean he moved to stand in front of him. 

“I’m a dick, and I’m sorry. Cassie…well I’ve had this crush on him since I first saw him. I knew it was stupid and when I saw him with you I knew it would never go anywhere... We started hanging out more after you were out of the picture and I thought, 'Well why don’t I take the chance?' So I did.

Look Dean I didn’t do this to hurt you, I really like him and just wanted to see if I had a chance.”

Dean looked up to the blonde boy. He could see the honesty in his eyes, and the hurt. The saddned look in Balthazar's eyes was one Dean knew too well. He had seen those eyes looking back to him everyday since Cas told him to leave him. He knew the pain that came along with it.

Gently, Dean laid a hand upon the boy's shoulder. "Its okay, Balthazar.  I understand." He gave him a small smile for reassurence.

Balthazar gave a sad smile. "Thank you, Dean. You should know he still cares for you. Wouldn't consider me because he still had feelings for you."

Dean brightened up and couldn't help the grin on his face.

"He really said that? He...he still likes me?"

"Yea...he does. But Dean you messed up bad so whatever you have planned, its gotta be perfect or you'll lose Cassie for good."

Dean nodded. He understood what was on the line. He wouldn't screw up again.

He turned to face the group of friends gathered behind him: his friends and Cas' friends, who he knew would become his friends soomln enough, and clapped his hands together.

"Let's get to work guys."

***

The next morning Castiel awoke to the shrill cry of his alarm clock. He hadn't slept well the day before knowing what was occuring back home with his father. After Jessica's strange text he had thrown himself back into his studies for a distraction. It had lasted well over 1:00 am before he stopped and called it a night. However, upon waking up, he regretted sleeping so late. It was 4:00 am and Cas was due to work in an hour. Groaning, he got off his bed and went through his mourning routine before leaving for work.

As Castiel entered the diner, he was suprised with what he was met with. The diner was filled with baby blue ballons. The walls held different colorful posters, each stating a characteristic. He could read a few that said, "Too damn blue eyes," "That bright smile, "The trenchcoat," "His voice," etc. At the counter where the cash register usually was, was a box of choclates. At the very top of the box was a note. Opening the white paper delicatley, Cas read aloud the scratchy writing.

Follow the clues throughout the day. You'll see a prize at the end. Don't go to work now. It's your day off. Instead enjoy the breakfast at the table behind you.

Castiel turned slowly. To his amazment a table was set with a plate of steaming pancakes, eggs, and bacon. An orange juice sat to the right of the plate. With shakey legs he made his way to the table and sat down. Cas was at a complete loss. What was going on?

Before he could question the situation more, Jess stepped out from the kitchen and came to greet him.

"Hi Castiel. I just came to tell you to enjoy your meal, and just go along with it all, okay?"

"Did...did you do this Jessica?"

"Oh no! I just helped."

"Then who di-"

"Don't worry about it Castiel. Believe me, you'll find out soon enough. Just eat and enjoy your morning off."

Giving him one last doting smile, Jessica left. Stunned, Castiel simply nodded to himself and ate, wondering what the rest of the day could bring and who was behind it all.

***

Sitting down in his first period class, Cas found another note.

After finishing his breakfast Cas couldn't lie that the food had been delicious ansd knew it hadn't been cooked by the regular chief. He had left his own note saying 'thank you' before getting up to leave. He had taken a second glance at the walls with posters to look over the notes left on them. Each one, he realized, described something about him, something the person enjoyed, and there were a lot of things this person liked. It left Cas blushing, once again wishing he knew who was behind this.

When leaving the diner, instead of taking the bus to school, there was a beautiful black, sleek car waiting outside for him. He was shocked to see Ash standing next to it, waiting for him. He was dressed in black slacks and a white button up, almost looking proffessional.

"Your stead awaits," Ash announced with a bow and wave of his hand. Seeing no point in not goong along with it, Cas climbed into the car.

"Ash, who is up to this?"

"I can't say. Sorry compadre. Don't you worry, you'll find out soon enough."

Cas nodded, realizing he wouldn't be getting an answer from anyone.

"Okay Ash. Can you at least tell me the kind of car this is? "

"'68 Fastback Ford Mustang."

With a smile from the review mirror, Cas had relaxed against his seat and awaited his first period which is where he was now.

The note on top of his desk was simple and white. Opening it, it read:

Find someone in your class with a bright yellow shirt and white shorts. They will give you a present and another note. Hope you're enjoying this.

Castiel chuckled. Even though it bothered him that he had no clue who was behind this little scavenger hunt, he had to admit it was fun. Sitting down, Cas awaited for the yellow shirted, white shorts person. He wasn't too supised when that person happened to be Balthazar. Only he would wear yellow and pull it off.

Again chuckling to himself, Castiel got up and made his way to Balth.

"I assume you have the present for me?"

Balthazar looked up to Cas, winking. He lifted his messenger back to the table and removed two items. The first was a beautifully decorated sketch book. The cover was complete leather with swirls on the border that spun into circles and squares. The next item was a pencil case that held four charcol pencils, and looking closely, Cas knew these weren't the cheap kind.

Castiel felt his eyes glisten with tears as he looked to Balthazar. The blonde brit gave him a soft smile as he handed a note over. Slowly taking the note, Cas opened it and read it.

Hope you enjoy your gift. Before you think its too much, it isnt. You deserve it. Your next note won't be coming until snack. Enjoy you're next two classes. Also, open the book.

Thanking Balth, Cas made his way back to his desk. He set down the note and pencils delicetly before lookong to the book and opening it. On the inside was one simple word: Cas.

***

Snack came quickly for Castiel. He had been a bit jittery during the last two periods wishing to receive his next note. He didn't know what it would be or who would give it to him. Once the bell rang, he ran out the door to his locker.

Maybe he was a little more excited then he let on, but no one could really blame him. It wasn't everyday that someone went through this kind of trouble to make a point. And Cas knew the person was making a point here, he just wished he knew who.

As Cas closed the door to his locker, again wondering when he'd receive anything, he felt a tap to his shoulder, turning around he was greeted by Anna.

Castiel grinned as he asked, "If I'm correct, you have my next note?"

"Not exactly. I just have 'part' of it," Anna responded with a knowing smile.

Tilting his head to the side, Cas looked to Anna confused. In response she handed over a yellow carnation. Castiel took the flower and looked at it with awe before Anna gave him a quick hug and left. Still not understanding what was hapening, Cas held the flower tightly and made his way to the cafateria.

His journey from his locker to the cafateria was filled with flowers. Varies strangers gave him different flowers. Each flower had their name and word next to them. His yellow carnation said cheerful. The next flowers he received was a delphinum (bold), freesla (spirited), hibiscus (delicate beauty), iris (inspiration), a pink tulip (caring) and a lilac (first love).

Taking his usual seat in the cafateria, Castiel was stunned silent. All of this, all of it, was simply too much. He needed to know who was behind this. The breakfast had been wonderful, the sketch book and pencils had been perfect, but this, the flowers, they had Cas near tears. Whoever was behind this held Cas dearly in their hearts and he wished he knew who.

Deciding he would just have to continue on with his day, he set his bag down and looked up to his friends. They all acted as if nothing was up, even though much was occuring. Samandrial was the one to slide over a note.

Knowing what it would, Cas was quick to open it and read it.

I hope you enjoyed the flowers. Each flower is true, you are all of those words and don't you forget that. Lunch will bring your next suprise. Go to the library and find a person wearing ripped jeans and a black tank top. They will tell you what to do.

Castiel tucked the paper away and awaited for lunch.

***

Lunch found Cas in the library. He had gone to his two classes after snack with no hassle. He had focused as much as he could on his classes as the day progressed. Every once in a while his mind would wonder to the scavanger hunt. He would look around in his classes and wonder if the person behind it all was there. When the bell had rang for lunch, Cas hadn't bothered to go to his locker, instead chosing the library to continue the hunt.

Cas was quick to spot out the person with ripped up jeans and a black tank top. Jo had her hair in a pony tail and was waiting patiently for Cas.

"Someones a little excited for the next clue, arent we Castiel?"

"Of course Jo. Its not everyday you have someone go through so much trouble to prove their feelings for me."

"Yea well, hope its all worth it in the end." With a final nod, Jo handed over an envelope to Cas and took her leave.

Castiel settled into a nearby chair and gingerly opened the envelope. Inside there were two plain tickets, both to San Francisco. This couldn't be real. This person had gone through a lot of trouble. Cas hoped the hunt was over soon, he needed to know the mystery person behind it all.

A note slipped from the envelope, picking it up, he read what it said.

I hope you accept this gift. If things work out, maybe you and I will be making this trip in a few months. Enjoy your lunch and find your next note at your locker at the end of the day.

Charlie appeared then, revealing a tray of food that held a delicious looking hamburger, what looked to be home made french fries, and  a vanilla shake. Before questiosn could be asked, Charlie left, giving a quick wink and salute to Cas before perminetly leaving the room. Left with no option, Cas ate his lunch and awaited for the end of the day, hopeful he would receive the identity of the person behind this.

***

When the final bell rang for the end of the day, Castiel was slow. His anticipation had been building up since lunch. He needed to know the person behind this. Since lunch, everyone had been coming up to him, strangers, who told him things like "he cares for you," "he wants to make things better," "he's a jerk," etc.

As he finally exited his room, he made the slow journey to his locker. In only a few moments he would discover who was behind all this and it scared Cas a bit. He hadn't been paying attention when Adam and Benny made their way to him, to focused on the soon to be revelation. They stopped him and gave him a smile.

"We have one more message," Adam said.

"He says he's sorry," Benny said.

They both patted Cas before leaving, the poor, even more confused, blue eyed boy. He continued the walk to his locker. On the door there was a note, the final note. He opened it slowly and read.

I'm sorry Cas. For everything. I hope this makes it better...I hope you take me back.

Castiel gripped the note tightly. He knew. He knew. Dean. All of this, all of it, was Dean. Castiel could already feel himself wishing to leave, he wouldn't fall for this boy, no he had to move on. He needed to leave, needed to move on.

Before he could make it far, Sam came to him, gently gripping his shoulder from behind him.

"I know you want to run , Castiel, but please stay and listen. I promise you, you won't regret it," Sam spoke softly.

Castiel stood in the hallway, uncertain of what to do. He had already lived with so many regrets and he was hoping to change, take the risks. Finding he wouldn't lose anything, he nodded and turned around.

"Take me to your brother Sam."

***

Dean was shaking. He was jittery. He couldn't do it, he couldn't. Cas wouldn't want him here, he probably wouldn't even show up.

Yet, Dean was still here. As he paced back and forth in the cafateria, a guitar hanging off his shoulders, he knew why he was staying. Even if Castiel didn't want him back after all this, even after all the work he still wished to never see Dean again, at least Dean had tried. He had put his all, he would live with no regrets.

That morning, after sleeping for only an hour, Dean knew what he was going to do. He would go through it all, through the diner breakfast, through the firs period gift, through the snack flowers, through the lunch, and through this, the song. Dean and his friends had put every bit of effort they had. No one would give up on this, especially Dean.

He was taking a steady breath when he heard the door open. He knew who it was, he just knew it. Knowing there was no going back, Dean turned around and began playing the song as he stared into those blue eyes, those beautiful blue eyes.

***

Castiel stepped into the cafateria uncertain of what to except. He had thought perhaps Dean would be waiting for him and would talk with him. Instead, what he saw was much more different, much more of suprise, much more amazing.

Dean stood in the middle of the cafateria, a guitar in his hands, staring at him with a soft smile. He began to pluck the strings on the guitar, a beautiful melody starting. Never breaking eye contact with Cas, Dean began singing.

I'll be kind, if you'll be faithful

You be sweet and I'll be grateful

Slowly, Dean began swaying to the song, his voice carrying through the cafateria.

Cover me with kisses dear

Lighten up the atmosphere

Castiel could feel his mouth drop open, shocked by what he was seeing.

Keep me warm inside our bed

I got dreams of you all through my head

Dean could see Cas' expression which only made him smile brightly and continue on.

Fortune teller said I'd be free

And that's the day you came to me

Came to me

Castiel covered his mouth as he saw Dean singing with that bright smile, his own smile coming to form on his face.

Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo, Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo

Dean winked before finally putting his all into the song, walking around and coming closer to Cas, pouring his heart into the song.

Come to me my sweetest friend

Can you feel my heart again

I'll take you back where you belong

And this will be our favorite song

Come to me with secrets bare

I'll love you more so don't be scared

When we're old and near the end

We'll go home and start again

Castiel felt tears begin to fall down his face as the song continued. Dean stayed close by, singing cheerfully. He never took his eyes of Cas, and Cas never took his eyes off of Dean.

As the song continued, Dean came to a halt in front of Cas. He took a pause and looked deep within Cas' eyes as he sang the next part.

Today's the day I'll make you mine

So don't you turn your back on me right now

Take my hand in this empty room

You're my guy, and I'm your man

Once again there was a pause until the song started playing again, but instead it wasn't Dean who played, it was others. Looking behind Dean Cas caught a glimse of Benny, Adam, and Samandrial playing. He didn't have long to look because soon Dean was grabbing his hands and swaying to the music. Castiel squeeled, knowing he couldn't dance to save his life.

"Dean I ca-"

"Let me lead you. Trust me."

Castiel looked up into those forest green eyes that had captivated him those few months ago. He knew he had taken a risk that first time. However, the risk had been worth it. So now, as he stood staring into those eyes he knew what he would do.

Slowly Cas nodded, a small smile unfolding. "Of course Dean."

Dean smiled brightly, knowing how much Castiel's words had meant. Soon he had his hands wrapped around Cas' as he pulled him around, twirling him and swaying to the soft music. His movements were slow, pulling Cas along with him.

As the song began to close, Dean brought Cas close to him, his hands moving to rest on his waist. As the final line rang out, Dean sang along to it, his forehead resting against Cas'.

Start again

As the guitar played its last riff, Dean lifted his head up, a hand moving to gently caress Cas' cheek.

"I'm sorry...please take me back...I'll make this right, I promise."

Castiel felt his cheeks go pink. His hand moved to cover over Dean's.

"Yes. Dean yes, I want this...us...just, yes."

Castiel knew what he was doing. From the start of the day he knew that who ever had been behind this he would take them because only somwone who truely cared for him would do this. maybe he knew it was Dean, deep sown maybe he knew. Either the case, Cas knew he was making the right choice here. 

Dean felt like his heart was reasy to burst. He couldn't help the excitment  that bursted through him. His arms moved to wrap around Cas' waist, lifting him in the air and twirling him. Castiel chuckled as he wrapped his arms around Dean's neck.

Settling Cas down to the floor once more, he moved his hands to cup Cas' cheeks.

"Thank you Cas, thank you."

Not hesitating, Dean leaned down and gently kissed Cas. Things were finally getting better.


End file.
